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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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June 10th, 2006, 11:36 AM
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I'm getting closer to my due date. I was reading about labor and delivery last night in one of my books. You'd think I know all this because I've done it a few times, but you kind of forget stuff. Anyhow I was just reviewing it and starting thinking about going into labor and remembering my kids' labors and of course I started thinking about my stillbirth

I was thinking about how when I asked for painrelief when I was contracting I didn't need to worry about the effect on the baby because she was already dead. That made me start crying I just started flooding with the feelings of what is was like to know my baby was dead and still having to deliver her.

I wonder how I'll ever get through this L&D without flashing back to my last one. If I go before 38 weeks I have to do it on my own since my husband will have to watch the kids. After that my mom will be out to help watch the kids.
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June 12th, 2006, 01:30 AM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,063
Awe hun My heart goes out to you. I pray your husband will be able to be there for you. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Truely, my heart goes out to you.
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June 12th, 2006, 12:16 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,299
I know how you feel... I can't even watch baby animals without sobbing, forget about even READING about birth...

It sticks with you. But look how far you have come since then. I have seen such hope and strength in you, especially lately.

Its hard I know - I have the flashbacks too. It seems as though my defense is to have a cry and then suppress the heck out of those thoughts.

This is a new baby - not Cassie. Things ARE different now. I can't wait to hear your birthstory, and I truly think it will be wonderful!


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June 12th, 2006, 12:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,406
Send a message via AIM to he910
Oh Susan - I hope that your DH will get to be there with you! I'm sorry you have to relive those memories but you'll be okay come that day. I think you'll be so excited about that moment that even though you'll remember your little girl lost you'll be okay. I'll be thinking about you!!

<span style="color:#333399">JACK MATTHEW BORN NOVEMBER 25TH AT 4:39PM WEIGHING 7LBS 11OZ, 20.5 INCHES

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June 13th, 2006, 10:30 AM
Posts: n/a
thanks girls. I'm feeling a little better. I'm sure I'll get through this, it is just odd how things pop up when you least expect them.
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