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My husband thinks its never going to happen..?

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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March 11th, 2011, 02:51 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
Alright so for the last week and a half my husband has been acting very weird.
Every time I bring up someones baby, or one of our miscarriages or something on the pregnancy/miscarriage topic he will say one word and change the subject. At first I let it go thinking he was stressed from our last miscarriage, work, and all his pharmacy classes but its really getting to me.

Yesterday for instance I went and sat in the living room with him I asked him when we would like to start trying for a baby again... all he said was "I don't know Kayla, looks like there will be no improvement" I just dropped it.

AND... on his laptop he has adoption agency bookmarked.

It just seems like he thinks were never going to be able to have a child together and it breaks my heart. He wants a big family because he comes from a big family and it seems like I am not ever going to be able to give that to him.

Maybe I am just venting... I guess Im just frustrated cause I cant get my husband to talk to me about children and I feel horrible I may not be able to give him the family hes always wanted.

Sheesh... I wish I was one of the women that can pop out kids like nothing...
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March 12th, 2011, 12:59 AM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,960
I think it is probably both that he had a hard time with the losses and that it is very hard for him to watch you go through a loss. I know that was the case with my DH...when I finally got him to talk about it with me. I think they just feel really helpless and my husband is quite protective of me and doesn't like to feel helpless when I'm hurting emotionally and physically.
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March 12th, 2011, 08:53 AM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,084
I am so sorry. That must be so hard. Don't give up hope though and keep your options open! Praying for you!
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March 12th, 2011, 12:45 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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I am so sorry. I know my DH had such a hard time watching me go through the losses that it played a big role in him not wanting to try again.
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March 12th, 2011, 01:14 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
Men respond differently to loss than women do. For me, I was determined to try and prove everyone wrong, my DH really didn't care either way.
If you haven't already, I highly recommend checking out the Trying to Conceive After Loss board. Everyone there can totally relate to what you are talking about and will be able to give great advice. Hang in there.
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