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Third miscarriage... so angry

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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March 27th, 2011, 02:12 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 37
Hi ladies. I got my BFP last Saturday and I posted a few days later that I had some brown spotting. Well I woke up this morning with cramps and there is a lot of red blood. I feel like my worst fears are coming true. Since I found out about the pregnancy I have been anxious and I'm now worrying that I caused all this by stressing. I read somewhere that severe amounts of stress can cause progesterone to drop, so in a round about way can cause a miscarriage. Anyway, this is my third loss, second in a row ( I had one in 2008, then I had a baby in 2009, another loss in 2010 and now this.)

I'm just so angry. I don't think I can get to the Dr tomorrow, my husband works nights and has to sleep all day so I have nobody to watch the kids. My other losses happened naturally with no need for intervention, although my last loss in December took over 6 weeks to complete, ugh. So I am naturally fearful of a repeat of that, and wondering if I should just go get a D&C to get it over with.

I am losing hope now that I can have another child. One miscarriage I could write off as bad luck, two I felt was probably bad luck as well, because I had a baby in between so I knew I was able to carry to term. But two in a row like this... well I just feel there's something seriously wrong and I won't be able to find out what it is. We are military, it's like pulling teeth to get anything done medically. The only way I can get seen tomorrow is to go to the urgent care clinic, last time I went there I was waiting over 6 hours to be seen, it's like that every single time you go in, even if it's for a blood test, so I can't keep taking time off work to go for repeat betas etc.

Thanks for listening to my rant, and I wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancies
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March 27th, 2011, 02:20 PM
ItsFinallyOct's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 708
I am soo sorry for your loss. Don't give up! My SIL had 2 in a row in between her kids...good things will happen, just don't give up!

If you're wanting to TTC again immediately...I'd go for the D&C and get it over with. Again, I'm so sorry
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March 27th, 2011, 02:35 PM
Posts: n/a
Oh no! I am so sorry! I hope you can get in the doctor soon. Just to have things checked out at least. I know nothing about military insurance. Is there any chance of getting some testing done to try to determine the reason for the losses?

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Keep us posted on what the doctor says, please!
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March 27th, 2011, 03:37 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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I am so sorry for your losses and that you are going through it again. Can you go to the ER tonight? I know each area has their own way of doing tricare so I doubt I can be of much help. That and I am active duty so my coverage is different than spouses. I hope you can get some testing done and find out what is happening. It is not your fault. You did not cause this.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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March 27th, 2011, 05:47 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I am so sorry for your loss It is so painful and hard to deal with. There is a pregnancy loss board here on JM that Jess hosts and is a great board for support. I have had 4 losses in the last 2+ years, this is pregnancy #5 for me. Each has hurt a lot and the only thing that has kept me trying is the overwhelming desire to make my husband a daddy.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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March 27th, 2011, 06:50 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
I am so sorry for your loss This journey can be so difficult and heartbreaking. I really hope that you can figure out a way to get some answers. There is definitely hope for you
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March 27th, 2011, 10:31 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 170
I hope you feel better, you'll get another chance soon enough. Don't blame it on worrying though, it's probably just a chromosomal abnormality, those are the most common. I m/c and this pregnancy i have not stopped stressing not even for a minute and my baby is healthy so far! Just take your time healing and sooner or later you'll get what you want!

good luck
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March 28th, 2011, 03:58 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1
I'm so sorry! (((hugs))) I had 2 m/c in a row - and then had my daughter. Since you have had a normal pregnancy you can carry a baby. Don't give up. Try not to blame yourself. Really - if stress caused miscarriages - abortion wouldn't exist right? LOL!

Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!

mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
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March 28th, 2011, 05:46 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,168
I'm so sorry!
I hope you are able to be seen soon.

Forever missing our angel November 9, 2010, with us for 9 weeks

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March 28th, 2011, 05:59 AM
tobi4's Avatar Tobi
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4,409
Im so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can get some answers soon.
Mom to Colton,Megan, Caitlyn, Nick, Brandon and 2 angels.
BFP Dec 2010 hcg Dec 18 13dpo 58... Dec 20 15 dpo 190.4 (28 hr doubling)

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March 28th, 2011, 09:18 AM
Posts: n/a
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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March 28th, 2011, 09:55 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
I am so sorry hun! It will work eventually.... I would not suggest a d&c unless it is necessary.... it can cause damage and make getting your rainbow baby even harder...

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