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Mourning (xp)

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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April 5th, 2011, 11:51 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
So how many of you are mourning your babies name seperate from the baby?

Our first loss was named Scout and I think it would have been a boy... probably named Bla Bla Bla the Third like Beau is but we had picked Scout for either gender and I was NOT NAMING MY SON AFTER DH at the time of our loss.

With Beau we never talked names as we found out he was a boy adn I had already agreed to Bla Bla Bla the third. But now I am wishing that Scarlett's little sister could be called Scout. I think it is a great pair of literay names.
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April 5th, 2011, 12:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,571
I don't think that there's any hard and fast rule about not using the name again. If you and your husband feel o.k. with it, use it again and think of it as honoring the baby you lost. If you can't do that, that's o.k., too.
Mom of 3 awesome girls

Lucia Jane, born 10.9.11

Forever missing our angel babies
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April 5th, 2011, 02:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
I agree with Jess ^^

When thinking of names for our angel, it was too hard for me to give a "real" name to our lost baby...it felt too wierd and I don't know why...We are still using the same names for this one that we would have for our angel baby.
Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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April 5th, 2011, 02:06 PM
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I agre with PP. If you and your husband has no problem with it, use it again. As long as you can do so without sad feelings, anyways. I LOVE the name Scout (and Scarlett for that matter). Good luck with whatever you decide!!
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April 5th, 2011, 02:32 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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We chose names that weren't on our list of names but that we liked. But I agree that if you feel ok with it go ahead and use it for the new baby.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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April 5th, 2011, 03:31 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Yes. Deep resounding yes. In my situation there is no reusing Cora's name. We briefly discussed naming her something else in favor of using the name for a future child, but in the end we realized she was Cora, not some other name. And nobody else was Cora.

But, if you feel like that's something you want to do, then go for it! I don't think there's a right or wrong here.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 5th, 2011, 03:40 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
I always knew that my first son would be Peter (after my dad) so when we found out that Peter was a boy at 15 weeks, I was hesitant to call him Peter. I knew that if we lost him, I could not take his name from him, but I desperately wanted my living child to have that name... In the end he is Peter, but had he passed he would still be Peter, and I would find another name for the next one....

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April 5th, 2011, 05:57 PM
SoCaliMommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 874
With my second loss the only name we could agree on was my son's name, after we lost that baby we could still only agree on that name. I still feel guilty about re using the name.

With my last loss we could only agree on a certain girl name, when we lost that baby i ended up choosing a different name, ended up using the month the baby passed but the same middle name which we also liked as a middle name for the original name we liked.

I have a strong feeling this baby will be a girl so she will get that name.
SAHM To A(11)R(9)H(3) x3 TTC#4 since July 2013

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April 5th, 2011, 07:55 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
Well loss number two adn three were named after their passing and we did choose names we loved but not on our short list for baby names. Rebecca Joy and Alexander Travis.

But Scout was named before we could even imagine a loss, and that is his/her name forever. Most important point is DH is adamant about the name being used already so there is no going back.

Any way when we were looking for a nick name for Wayne (who needs TWO of those???) I tried to sell DH on Scout and he was not buying it... so today I am mourning Scout the name because I just love the Scarlett Scout sister set.

I do find it funny that we used it "boy" on our loss and I want it "girl" now.
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