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I'm so scared!

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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July 14th, 2011, 06:21 AM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,070
I've ben through PAL before. I thought it would get easier. Maybe I have forgotten what it was really like at the very beginning of the pregnancy with Makenna. After my loss in '07, I vowed that I would trust my instincts more. I felt like something was wrong. Not the whole time, but for the last 2 weeks or so. I eerily feel like this pregnancy is like my first one and not the one with Makenna. I have practically no symptoms. No nausia, no morning sickness. I'm beginning to wonder if I even have my heightened sense of smell still. I go to the bathroom and I'm surprised every time I DON"T find spotting. I'm trying so hard to stay positive, but I don't want to give myself a false sense of security, either. Maybe it's just my way of "disconnecting" until I can feel more secure. I just hate that my body has betrayed me before and let me believe for 12 weeks that everything was OK. I fear that is what my body is doing again. I will feel SO much better when I can hear/see a heartbeat. I know that doesn't mean everything will definitely go perfect after that, but that is my biggest hurdle in PAL.

Anyway, had to vent and knew that you ladies would understand. DH and I leave today for a 3 day weekend. We are celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. I pray that I can enjoy it and not be worried and analyzing everything the whole time. My appt. on 8/2 can't come fast enough!!

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July 14th, 2011, 06:35 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
I understand all of your worry as I spent the first 10 weeks of this pregnancy in a panic and probably won't feel settled until i get to 20 weeks and pass my second loss. However, it is totally, totally normal not to feel any pregnancy symptoms at 5 weeks. Infact it's rare to feel anything that early and most early symptoms are more things we want to feel. Most early symptoms like m/s and peeing all the time don't start until 6-7 weeks (sometimes even 8 weeks). The hcg levels really need to build up before you start feeling sick. I know it's crazy how badly we all want to throw up at the beginning, but everyone here has been there!

Good luck and try to enjoy your anniversary get away! We just celebrated 10 years a few months back - such a great milestone!!!

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July 14th, 2011, 06:56 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,168
First of all, happy anniversary! I hope you are able to enjoy it.

It's hard to stay positive, don't we know it. But, remember that each pregnancy is different and the ones past don't dictate how the next one will be.

I hope the next 2 weeks go by quickly and you get to hear a fantastic strong heartbeat!

Forever missing our angel November 9, 2010, with us for 9 weeks

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July 14th, 2011, 07:20 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Just wanted to say congratulations on your anniversery and let you know your not alone with all your fears. After multiple loss's, I became poor at reading my own body too, thought my last two pregnancy's would end in loss, but here I am!
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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July 14th, 2011, 07:33 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I know exactly how you are feeling... I just keep taking it day by day, little milestones. Happy Anniversary!!

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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July 14th, 2011, 09:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Happy Anniversary. I get sick with my pregnancies but never earlier than somewhere between week 6 and week 7. I think it's normal, especially early on, to not feel "pregnant." Enjoy your anniversary weekend and know we'll be here sending up prayers for a happy, healthy, sticky bean for you!
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield

(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.

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July 14th, 2011, 10:58 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
I never feel pregnant early on. But that is just me. I hope you have a great weekend. Try not to stress (I know easier said than done). Happy Anniversary! Many prayers that August 2 is here in a jiffy and you have a nice strong heartbeat to hear.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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July 14th, 2011, 12:27 PM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,070
Thanks, ladies! I feel better already. I did stop and by an FRER on the way home from work too. Beautiful, blaring . Somehow it helps (and you ladies too!) Thanks for helping me through my first of I'm sure many neurotic moments.

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July 15th, 2011, 06:53 AM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 20
I was super sick with my son from day one (and lost 12 pounds from the day I conceived to the day he was born because I lost so much weight my first trimester), then I never got "sick" with my daughter. This time around I feel nauseous on and off throughout the day, but haven't gotten sick. I am also taking progesterone, which I think may give me early symptoms? I can relate to your anxiety - I have had two miscarriages and I check the tp EVERY time I go to the bathroom praying to not see blood Good luck - my ultrasound is also August 2nd
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