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I am not an idiot! (vent)

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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September 5th, 2011, 05:55 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I swear everyone is treating me like I am an idiot as I get closer to my due date. My midwives are thinking that she is going to come early. I guess my Mom USED to think she was going to come early. My best friend thinks I am an idiot for thinking she might come early. I know she might just be a happy little baby and wait until 42 weeks, that is why I say 4-9 weeks left of pregnancy. But, they ALL get up in arms when I say that I am not going to be a good girl and rest a lot to keep contractions away after 37 weeks.

Heaven forbid this is what my MIDWIVES told me to do. They think I am asking for a NICU baby. "I know such and such was 38 weeks and still needed 9 days in the NICU", "You aren't going to have any help when she comes if I am in France", etc.

Here is the logic behind my decision...
If I am correct, babies come when they are ready. I am not going to ENHANCE the probability of labor, therefore, she will come when she is ready, and I won't try to stop it. She has thought she was ready at 29 weeks, so getting to 37 weeks would be a wonderful accomplishment in my book.

My mom had 2 babies at 30 weeks (NICU obviously) 3 babies between 36 and 37 weeks (perfectly healthy babies one at home (me)) and 1 baby at 37 weeks and a couple days...all healthy. Not to mention the hundreds of babies born at 37 weeks that are perfectly healthy. There are reasons as to why that date is considered full term.

She is measuring a week ahead consistently. She has always been healthy, even when I was in pre term labor and going through hyperemesis.

As far as the not having help after the baby is born, that is insanity! My in laws live in the other side of our duplex!! She has grandparents that are literally a hop, skip, and jump away. It is their first grandbaby and would do anything to help us out! I am not worried that my Mom might be in France. She is not the only grandmother to this child.

It is just amazingly frustrating how many people think that I am being an idiot by knowing I won't try to stop contractions starting October 2nd. It doesn't mean she will come that day, or even within 2 weeks of that day. I won't be eating pineapple. I won't be DTD extra to help. I won't even drink the raspberry tea that I have in the house. I won't be using EPO. I will take my daily 1 mile walk I do now. I will clean the house, like I do now. I will organize her nursery, which I have done 3 times already, but with more and more gifts, needs done multiple times. The heavy stuff, DH will take to the basement, I won't be doing massive heavy lifting. If I was trying to enhance, that wouldn't be the best idea and I know that.

Sorry this turned into a saga, but I am just so frustrated right now I hope my Mom is in France when Marsi is born and I am glad my friend is half a country away and I can take a break from her for a while.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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September 5th, 2011, 06:25 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
((HUGS)) I'm sorry they are all being that way. Your right just because your not trying to stop the contractions doesn't mean she is going to come. And 37 weeks is full term so she should be fine anyways.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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September 5th, 2011, 08:00 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Ugh people bug me. At 37 weeks chances of baby being in the NICU are very small. Those rare cases where babies born after 37 weeks were in the NICU are more likely merconium related. I have increased my activity since 36 weeks per DR ok since we can have baby any time and she will be just fine. I had pre term labor with my son and he had to be induced at 39 weeks. People are silly. Don't listen to them and try not to let them get to you.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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September 6th, 2011, 12:36 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,689
Ugh, people need to keep their opinions to themselves.

That said, I would drink the RRL tea...hehe another opinion. It won't put you into labor, but it does help to get the uterus ready for labor.

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
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September 6th, 2011, 05:53 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Both of my children were born at 37 weeks. They both came out healthy and happy with no problems. Let your body do its thing and ignore all others. Everyone seems to have an opinion based upon personal experience. What many do not understand is that what is right for one is not right for the other. <<hugs>>

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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September 6th, 2011, 07:35 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,820
People love to give advice an share their opinions, even if it is ill-informed. I doubt they actually think you're and idiot, but I know how annoying it is when people treat you like one.
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September 6th, 2011, 08:14 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Originally Posted by NutMeg76 View Post
That said, I would drink the RRL tea...hehe another opinion. It won't put you into labor, but it does help to get the uterus ready for labor.
Thanks. In my DDC it seems everyone is saying it is natural induction. I had read otherwise but didnt want to chance it.

Thanks for the responses. I still have to see my Mom today which means making my house spotless. DH and I came up with a tactful way to divert conversation topics if this comes up. There was awkwardness on Facebook where my Mom asked what was going on on my I am not an idiot status. Oops. Thanks ladies.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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September 6th, 2011, 08:18 AM
Posts: n/a
Finn was born a day before 37 weeks and he is perfect. And ginormous. LOL His lun gs were good, his kidneys were good, everything about him is healthy. Some babies just don't need the full 40 weeks to grow, I think. Screw what other people think. I KNEW Finn was going to come early, and I was right. It's our bodies. We know them. Good luck. Don't let people get you down!!

(I started drinking RRL tea at 34 weeks.)
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September 6th, 2011, 11:12 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Okay...I feel my opinion on this has merit

I had to say that, since obvious so many people in your life feel the same way.

37 weeks is full term. You are not saying you are going to jamb your finger up there and rupture your waters for goshs sake!! You are saying you are going to live a normal life and not worry every two seconds that the contraction you are having is the real thing. It is allowed to be the "real thing." I fully support your decsion to not prevent labor at that point. Really, if the baby wanted to be premature, she would be born before she was ready, no matter what the gestation is. As you stated, your doctor is aware of your plans and has no aversions to them. That is about the only opinion that matters, besides your own.

My son was born at 36 weeks, 6 days. YES, he did spend time in the NICU. Not long, but he did go. Would he have if I had "stopped" my labor at that time? I don't know. I doubt my labor was "stoppable" because he was coming no matter what. His cord was thin, his placenta clotty, and had they tried to stop labor...something bad might have happened. I don't know. All I know is that he was and is 99% healthy. I don't even know if the hospital would have attempted to stop labor at that point. I tend to doubt it.

As for your mother...she just seems to having a fit of selfishness. She does not want you to go into labor when she is in France. Which is understandable...she is just coming across all wrong. She should accept that this little one is coming no matter if she (your mother) is in France or not. And support you in any way she can in the meantime and when the baby does come. Try not to let it bother you. This certainly won't be the first time tons of people offer you unsolicited advice and it makes you want to scream
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September 6th, 2011, 11:36 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Thanks Ashlee. It is nice to know stories of both sides. I think that is the main motivation of my mom too.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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