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The worry really doesn't end

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 5th, 2011, 05:44 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
I thought I was a nutjob when I was pregnant????

Wow...it has gotten so much worse now that he is here! I was not crazy with my first kiddo. In fact, I did not enjoy him enough. Nor did I realize how amazing it was that he was perfect and healthy and it was so incredibly fleeting (even when it felt like all he did was cry).

Now that Kieran is here and we are past the worry of him in my belly...there is a whole new set of insane worries! I won't let him sleep anywhere but on my chest. I check on him ten times in a thirty minute nap. And I won't let him out of my sight...even with DH. I just feel like he is so fragile and it feels like if I blink, he might disappear or get hurt. At the moment, he is making little grunting noises in his pack-n-play (not 10 feet from me) and I am resisting the urge to jump up and scoop him up.

I am thoroughly enjoying him...so that part is good But I am hoping the hormones and worry start to die down soon so I can be a little more relaxed with him. I just did not realize that I would be so much more protective with him than I was with Liam (and I was fairly protective of him, even if I was not fully appreciative of his babyness).

Just had to get that off my chest.
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October 5th, 2011, 06:22 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
When I put M down in the cosleeper, I still wake up every 10 minutes to check on her. I have woken her up to make sure she is breathing a whole bunch of times. I almost always sleep with her side nursing on me, and my arm around her so I can feel her breathing. I don't expect it to get better until she is about a year old and too big for SIDS. Although it doesn't feel that anxious or awful. When I have her on me, I feel very secure. It is instinctive and I believe cosleeping is right for us so I don't sweat it... I love it in fact

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October 5th, 2011, 08:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
I think I will be exactly the same...I'm actually more worried for when she's outside of me then having her in my belly right now! I'm freaked out about SIDS especially, so I registered for a movement moniter (I think someone on here recommended it) and I can't tell you how ECSTATIC I was when I looked at my registry and saw that someone bought it for us!! I think I'll feel too out of control once Bella is here (as if I have control over what happens to her in my uterus! LOL). I hope it gets better for you.
Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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October 5th, 2011, 09:07 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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Dang it I totally replied to this .
I am way more neurotic this time than last and have to have her with me constantly. I do let her fuss a bit knowing she needs to sometimes but mostly I have to be checking on her constantly or have her with me. I totally need to get a wrap or something so I can get more done around the house.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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October 6th, 2011, 08:55 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
I think it's normal Ashlee but I hope it does get less stressful for you so you can enjoy him worry-free

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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October 8th, 2011, 08:18 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
You are so right! I worry all through pregnancy then get that huge sigh of relief when they're in my arms. Then a different type of worry starts. I'm so neurotic and worry about everything- if they'll stop breathing, if something will happen to them, if someone will hurt them, etc. It's bad. I don't know if I would be like this if I didn't have a loss before each of my living children, but it's the only way I know to be.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

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October 8th, 2011, 02:14 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Gotta quote my mom here

"You worry all through pregnancy that something will happen. And then they're born and you worry about SIDS and sickness. And then they're teenagers and you worry about sports injuries and car accidents. And then they have kids of their own and give you more people to worry about."

It gets easier for me once they're past the real SIDS risk...I can at least sleep when they're asleep. lol
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 9th, 2011, 10:07 AM
Posts: n/a
You're speaking my language. That's how I was with Moose. I was totally crazy about constantly checking her and was terrified something awful was going to happen. I had PPD which made things worse too. This time around, I'm MUCH calmer!! Not sure why, but I'm thankful for it. LOL

I also have the motion sensor monitor which TOTALLY helps me sleep at night. I LOVE it!!
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October 9th, 2011, 10:32 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
I have a growing fear of SIDS, it wasn't THAT bad when he was born, but the longer he lives and the more I fall in love with him the more the thought of losing him cripples me. I think when you've experienced pregnancy loss you ALWAYS worry a bit more than "normal"

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October 10th, 2011, 06:19 AM
hearts.0nfire's Avatar STPR lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 11,046
I was seriously paranoid most of the time with Darcy. For a very long time I couldn't sleep when she slept because I was scared she would stop breathing and I wouldn't know. I would have to wait until DH came home from work to let me sleep for 4-5 hours. Once I got the angel care monitor I was finally able to get rest. I have no idea how i'll be this time.

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October 10th, 2011, 07:13 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,172
Yep. Yep. Yep.

I'm still freaked out when I don't hear my almost 4 year old son moving on the monitor. I will lay awake until I hear him shuffle around.
I had my rainbow baby on December 14, 2011. Now my family is complete!
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October 10th, 2011, 05:03 PM
Micksbabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,347
Okay I do this with Hunter all the time!! She has been woken up by her mommy more than once and now since she got her concussion (two weeks ago) I am even more paranoid, anytime she bumps her head I have a flashlight out making sure her pupils dilate

Thank you Bokkechick for my gorgeous siggie

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