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I gave in and now freaking out... :( TMI

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 27th, 2011, 02:44 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
Well I told DH we wouldnt be doing anything sexual till the 2nd trimester... Today I caved and did stuff we did not have intercourse but TMI we both finished.

I haven't had any spotting yet but 2 of our miscarriages DH and I DTD and started spotting and it never stopped and lost them. I'm so nervous of this happening again!

You would think I could control myself for the baby but sex is such a big part of our relationship it's hard to cut cold turkey.

I keep saying to myself why why why? It's like I'm waiting for the spotting to start.

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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October 27th, 2011, 03:02 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I am so sorry you are scared. We had sex a few times a week during the 1st trimester and all was ok. (((hugs))) We are not machines, we still need that closeness with our partners.

Try not to be so hard on yourself.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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October 27th, 2011, 03:21 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 216
I totally understand!!
The same thing happened to me when I m/c. I know it was the cause of the m/c, but I totally fear seeing spotting, so we haven't had yet. I'm too paranoid, but at the same time it makes me feel less connected to him.
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October 27th, 2011, 03:21 PM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,621
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Try to relax. It's highly unlikely that sex had anything to do with any of your m/c's. I know that with 2 of mine we also had just DTD and then a day later I started spotting, but the causes were unrelated.
I'm sure all will be just fine!

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October 27th, 2011, 03:26 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 216
Oops...I meant to say that it was NOT the cause of my M/C, not the cause...
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October 27th, 2011, 03:44 PM
Posts: n/a
Sex isn't the cause of your m/c's. Sex is perfectly fine as long as there aren't any problems. We had sex a few times a week the entire pregnancy. I know it's hard to worry, but unless your OB tells you to abstain, you should be fine.
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October 27th, 2011, 05:44 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
Ditto the other ladies

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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October 27th, 2011, 07:02 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,398
Sweetie, with the losses you DTD before losing them, I don't think DTD had much to do with it. I went through the same what ifs and asking myself why when we lost our bean, but people kept telling me if you were gonna lose it, you were gonna lose it regardless of what you did or didn't do. I know it's hard to hear, but that's how I see things. That thought process brought me comfort.

I really think this is your sticky bean. Remember, you said you've never seen your hcg betas go so high. That is an EXCELLENT sign. Sex wont make you miscarry.

I know it's impossible not to worry, but I just thought I'd share a thought process that brought me some comfort and reassured me when we conceived our little girl, who is still here and healthy.
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.

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October 28th, 2011, 09:23 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
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I agree with the other ladies. I know it is hard not to worry. I know it is easier said then done. Try to relax.
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October 28th, 2011, 12:19 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
This is something my RE talked to us about before we ever concieved. Apparently it is VERY common for people to assume DTD had something to do with the loss/losses, since both things involve spotting in early pregnancy (or *can* involve spotting). And also, DTD is often blamed because people mistakenly believe that orgasms are unhealthy to the baby (which they are not). But DTD can not cause a healthy pregnancy to be miscarried. In fact, very, very little can cause a healthy pregnancy to go south. Those beans in there are, in fact, meant to be resiliant. It just does not seem that way to us because we had to say goodbye before and too many times. But healthy little beans are not going anywhere. And based on those numbers, your beanie is as healthy as a horse!
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