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Frustrated with myself

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 30th, 2011, 03:49 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I totally understand. It took me a while to buy anything big.... and I am embarrassed to admit it but even yesterday I was looking at Scarlett's bassinet and said to myself "if she is stillborn everyone better just throw all this stuff away... I don't even want any of it to be in this house when I come home". And honestly I am not a negative person at all but this is all different.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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October 30th, 2011, 10:35 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
For the last 2 weeks I've really started looking for deals on baby stuff. We need a few big things for the twins (that have to bought for each of them) that are going to be pretty pricey, and I know from shopping for DS and DD that they go on sale randomly and not frequently. I'm holding off on the cribs until January, because Babies r Us has a huge furniture blow out sale after Christmas, and we were able to get DS and DD's 4-in-1 set ups at a HUGE discount. However last week 2 things that we needed (that I know will not go on sale anytime soon) went on sale and I tried so hard to buy them and couldn't. Now this week BRU is having their semi-annual mattress sale. The mattresses we want are deeply discounted, and I know these things never go on sale. I know I should really get them now. I've got them both in my cart online, and I can't hit the purchase button. I am so afraid that buying them will jinx us, and now I'm in tears because I'm really starting to frustrate myself. If I don't get my act together we're going to wind up paying full price x2 for everything at the end. ARGH!

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

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October 30th, 2011, 11:50 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
I see so many great deals online all the time. I am also afraid to buy anything because I am afraid of jinxing us. To further my crazy though, I am also afraid to get my hair cut (with my last loss I got my hair cut), have sex (we DTD the day before our loss), and over do anything. I am seriously going to get fat with the lack of exercise. I feel you. Just click the complete order button. Don't let thew crazy take over.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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October 30th, 2011, 03:17 PM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 5,106
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I wish none of us had to go through this. I have picked out most of the big things I want for baby but I haven't been able to make myself to go out and get any of the big things. Lots of hugs.
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October 30th, 2011, 05:35 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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I didn't buy anything until after our 18 week scan and even then it was not much and hard to do. I left everything in packages, and tags left on. All receipts were put in an envelope. DH made me set up the pack and play after 25 weeks but it was so hard. Even at the end I was afraid we would lose her. It got easier but the fear was still there. Don't be hard on yourself.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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October 30th, 2011, 06:00 PM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
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With Madison I did not do her Nursey until I was 37 weeks. I kept everything in boxes with the recipts.
We did not open the big stuff like the swing and bouncer until she was home from the hospital.
I so thankful I dont have much to buy this time since I saved everything so I can just wait until the last minute again.

I remember when I was 5 months pregnant with DD my mother inlaw bought a Travel system for me and I made her take it back cause it was to early..lol

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October 30th, 2011, 09:31 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,583
With Kaiden, I didnt get anything until 30 weeks - and that was before I had experienced a loss...this time around, we've literally told almost no one (3 good friends, thats it!), I havent even let it cross my mind that there might be a baby that comes out of this in May...its just so painful and scary to let myself love it as much as I want to...

I'm also superstitious as well...no exercise at all, wont take any medication of any kind, wont eat certain things, etc. etc...I'm completely crazy, and I hate how scary it is...I see so many people who update FB at 5-6 weeks and say that they are pregnant, and they have nothing go wrong the whole pregnancy and the thought doesnt even cross their mind that something could go wrong...must be nice...

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October 31st, 2011, 07:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I understand what you are feeling. With out history, I never felt 'comfortable' in pregnancy. I had our daughter at 29 weeks, and I didn't have a single thing ready for her. Her room was still set-up as a spare bedroom, no clothes washed, no crib, no bassinet, no diapers... In fact, we had only told our son about the pregnancy two weeks before we had her. In hindsight I wouldn't have done it any different. My emotions were so fragile that any sense of peace or safety was golden. I am waaay behind right now (still trying to get her room set-up), but that is OK. Could you return unused items? You could always sell them and get almost full money for them. I hope you can find a way to put your mind at ease.

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October 31st, 2011, 07:43 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
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I too understand what you are feeling. I'm scared to even think about buying anything! We did the big FB announcement this weekend, and of course then I spent the rest of the weekend convinced that I was m/cing (no signs at all, and was able to get baby on doppler every time I tried.

But with that kind of discount and needing two, I'd say hold your breath and push the button!

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October 31st, 2011, 07:47 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,172
I didn't have a stillbirth but because of the stories of our families here, I have similar thoughts sometimes.

We're just now buying things and I'm making sure to keep the receipts to return things if we need to.

It's hard to be ready to push that button without hesitation when we have such a broad view of what might happen. But the deal sounds good so I'd go for it because you have to have some hope!
I had my rainbow baby on December 14, 2011. Now my family is complete!
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