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Just another terrible day (rant and self pity)

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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December 19th, 2011, 10:27 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
So here I have been panicking all weekend over my u/s appointment with the high risk. Well, seeing how I have no insurance, and cannot get insurance, I am a cash patient. Most doctor's and hospitals will work with you and cut you a little discount.

Anyway, I got a call from them that my appointment will be tomorrow at 3pm. I had called my husband this morning and asked if he could come with me as I am terrifed of getting the results. I doubt that would help me with my anxiety also. He him hawed about it and said that he would see. So whatever with him then. Then I just got another call about 10 minutes ago with my pricing for the appointment because I am a cash patient. $996!!!!! I asked about payment options or discounts because of not having insurance, and I could literally hear the lady smirk on the phone. She basically told me that payment is due in full at the time of serive or I could not be seen. I just said wow, ok and hung up.

So I panic. We literally took my husband's Christmas bonus and paid off all of our credit cards that we racked up with my medical bills. I called James in a panic, only to hear him stumble with the phone and make a very rude comment about me calling him. Basically he did not realize that he hit the talk button before he grabbed it and all I heard was, "Oh my God Lindsey, what now? I don't have time to deal with your *** right now. Ummmm... Hello?" I am hysterical at this point. What an ***hole!!! I pretty much called him out on it and he tried to deny it at first, and then he finally admitted to it. So I hung up on him and took the phone off the ringer because he kept trying to call me back to apologize. The one person I needed support from, and he pulls that.

So now I do not know what to do. I am most likely going to put a balance on my credit card again to make sure the baby is ok. I would die if anything happened to my baby. Especially if it was my fault for not being able to afford any preventative. Then again, how am I going to afford anything preventative either?? This is literally my worst nightmare through and through. Just please pray with me(if that is what you believe in) that nothing is wrong, and that the baby will be born healthy and full term. I am so terrified at the whole situation. It also makes me really appreciate my doctor and what she has done for me.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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December 19th, 2011, 10:47 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I am sorry they want full payment up front like that - I am still paying off credit cards from my earlier medical bills.

Lindsey - I know you did not qualify for Chip or medicaid but there are clinics out there that work on a sliding scale fee. That is how I found the clinic I went to. And I am getting my tubes tied in early February - they are working with a payment plan with me on a sliding scale rate as well.

Here is a resource for finding a clinic that will provide prenatal care on a sliding scale fee based on your household income.

HRSA - Find a Health Center - Search Page

Here are some places that you can look for locally to help you get prenatal care:

* Local Health Department
Your local health department will be able to tell you where a prenatal care clinic is run. They may have one that they run or can help you find free or reduced prices on prenatal care depending on your income level. You can call 1-800-311-BABY (1-800-311-2229) to connect you to your local health care department. This information is also available in Spanish by calling 1-800-504-7081.

* Local Medical School
If you live in an area with a medical school or even have a bigger medical school in your state, even if it is not in your town, call their clinics. They often run clinics for prenatal care both at the medical school and in local towns within a certain distance. These are staffed by trained and qualified doctors and midwives who are training residents (doctors who have graduated from medical school but are learning the specialty of obstetrics), midwives and sometimes student doctors and nurses. Costs will vary depending on income.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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December 19th, 2011, 11:02 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Thank you Missy, but I have tried the sliding fee clinics. None of them will take me because I do not qualify for medicaid. They only do sliding fees for patients who make less money than we do. We have to pay up front with them. Believe me, I tried many many clinics, basically I was SOL.

I was lucky enough to find my doctor who gives me big discounts on visits and u/s. I won't be able to get into my husbands insurance until Feb during open enrollment. It is just now with maybe having complications beyond my doctor's help, I am screwed. This clinic is run by the teaching hospital and I was told by my doctor that they do payment options. I guess she was wrong.

I honestly do not understand the state of Texas. Other states have better help when it comes to prenatal care. Our only help here in the United Way, and basically they gave me all the same info you did, plus a little more. I had to call them back and tell them pretty much the same thing I just told you. I just really am SOL.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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December 19th, 2011, 11:39 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
I was going to suggest PCAP, but since you wouldn't qualify for medicaid, I don't know if you would get PCAP. You can still look into though. It's only for pregnant women and their infant children up to one year. They cover you throughout the pregnancy and delivery, then cover the baby for the first year. But the insurance itself is actual medicaid. Ughhh how stressful.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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December 19th, 2011, 11:49 AM
KaiyaRae'sMomma's Avatar Forever missing Kaiya Rae
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,840
Hey, I know I am not around much, so I don't know the back story about why you can't get insurance. I was just wondering, what about Planned Parenthood? Do you have one of those? I'm not sure how their pricing/fee process is, but I know they offer some free care and other is on a sliding scale also. Just a thought. Kick me if you've already tried this. I hope it all works out for you!

Thank you Alethia for my siggy!

Read my blog: www.grievingmomma.wordpress.com
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December 19th, 2011, 12:10 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
UGH! How irritating, I don't have any advice, since you said you are working with a medical facility that is a teaching facility (I was going ot suggest this too because my mom didn't have any means of paying for her medical care when she was pg with me, she went to the actual university medical center). I was born at Georgetown University Medical Center, because my mom was high risk, she was acutally seen by the professor (already a doc) and not the students. Is that how you are seen? Can you call a local university medical center (associated directly with a medical school, rather than a "teaching hospital")?

I hope you can get some help soon, luckily, (or not) February is coming up soon!! GL!!
4/2008 8/2011

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December 19th, 2011, 12:15 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
Ugh, Lindsey, this whole situation is terrible I hope your husband gets his act in gear!
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December 19th, 2011, 12:24 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 216
I'm sorry to hear and about your husbands comment as well. They often just don't get the stress when it comes to PAL I hope it works out for you.
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December 19th, 2011, 01:35 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 865
I'm so sorry to hear all this Lindsey! Is there any way your DH's insurance would accept you now? I know my insurance has special circumstances when they will allow people to be added after the open season has closed - just a thought, i haven't been keeping up with your story all the way, so if you tried it already just ignore me
I'm sorry that your DH was unsupportive today i'm sure it is stressing him out too - not that it's an excuse.
If they were to do preventative measures - like a clearage, would that happen sometime soon or when would they do it? Could they still do it in feb if you were to go on bedrest now? I know it's not ideal, but maybe it can work as a band-aide until you can get some insurance.
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December 19th, 2011, 01:40 PM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,621
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Hugs!! between the smirking lady and your DH's comments I think you have had enough for a while! All I can suggest is maybe talking to the office manager about the payment options.

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December 19th, 2011, 02:16 PM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Thanks ladies. As far as CHIP goes, I did not qualify for that either. We made too much by a few dollars.

As for not having insurance. When we moved and I lost my job, I lost both mine and the kid's insurance. When my husband got hired and did the insurance enrollment, we freaked at how much it would cost us to get on ($600 a month for no preventative care covered, only hospital and emergency centers were covered with a $5k deductable), but when we tried to enroll, they told us we had just missed our window. I was able to get us self pay insurance for a while, but we could no longer afford them a few months ago. Plus on top of paying them, self pay insurance in the state of Texas does not cover any type of pregnancy or pregnancy related issue. Also, they refused to cover my son's ADHD meds each month, which cost us nearly $200 on top of the insurance.

I am unsure about college doctors, as I do know that I was refered to UTMB by the United Way, which is pretty much run by the medical college in Galveston. They refused to do a sliding scale, and wanted to do a package deal, which was $6500 plus a $900 non refundable deposit paid up front for visits and delivery. The problem with that is that it had to be paid in full by 35 weeks gestation or I would not get any money back and refused prenatal care. That was only for uncomplicated pregnancies with no issues. If any issues came up, I would have to pay more out of pocket at no discount. I called many of the other hospitals too, and nothing. I even tried birthing centers, and they were even more expensive.

I have pretty much given up on any type of insurance out here until open enrollment. Also, my husband's company tried to get us in early to no avail. We were told that we would have to wait.

As for my husband's attitude, I am still furious with him. I will probably try to go to bed before he gets home from work. It might be bad if I see him. He has been calling all day trying to apologize, but his attitude when I needed him the most just sucked. It'll take a while for me to get over it.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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December 19th, 2011, 02:43 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
I am sorry that you have to even think about any of this and his attitude totally sucked! Men just don't always think before they speak (not an excuse, a fact...lol)! My DH has done this to me once or twice and I just ignore him for a bit and then go about my ways as if nothing happened, I wait until the fire has gone out and then I let him know what he did, otherwise, I might say things that I don't mean - I think you are right in not saying anything right away, it could be worse than it has to be. Just make sure that you do say something at some point, otherwise he will be totally clueless!

4/2008 8/2011

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December 19th, 2011, 03:27 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm so sorry, Lindsey :hugs:

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
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December 19th, 2011, 04:27 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
I'm sorry you're going through all this and having to deal with the smirking wench and your DH's comments.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

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December 19th, 2011, 06:07 PM
Sillylittlefishey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: IL
Posts: 2,852
I'm so sorry that your husband is being such a jerk...you reacted much like I would have in the same situation!! I really hope that you are able to find something that will work for you as far as the insurance gos. (((HUGS))) And good luck at your appointment tomorrow!!

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December 19th, 2011, 06:49 PM
Mamacc's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,659
I hope you can figure out something soon! What a tough situation!

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December 20th, 2011, 09:39 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I'm sorry....I know here in Southern Cali we have clinic for low income. Now I went there even if I had insurance, because I was student and birth control was free for me. Even after I was no longer a student, I did go there for a Physical and it was a reduced price. Sorry about DH, what an A**

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December 20th, 2011, 09:45 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Lindsey I am so sorry for the money issues you are having. Pregnancy after loss is hard enough without all the extra worry. I hope that everything turns out okay at your appointment. I'm praying for you and for your baby. I want your pregnancy to be easy and as inexpensive as possible.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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