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How do you handle the anxiety?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
January 25th, 2012, 01:07 PM
Moldovandish's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This pregnancy after loss is so difficult for me. I try not to worry and decide every day to think positive, but memories of what happened a few months ago keep haunting me. It's hard not to worry about it. I try to take in one day at a time. I just keep thinking that I could not handle another loss.
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  #2  
January 25th, 2012, 01:31 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
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I think this is a question we ALL wish there was a definite answer for but sadly there is not...

I have horrible anxiety with this pregnancy. After 3 losses and this being the farthest along I have ever been you'd think I'd feel better. Nope. I worry about still born, premature labor and just plain problems with labor. It's like a constant dark cloud that follows me. Everytime I buy something I cringe that I'll never get to use it. Or when I see women with their cute babies I think I could never be THAT lucky. I know horrible right?

How do I deal with it? I take it one day at a time. Listening to my baby on my Doppler really helps or just talking it out with DH. I'm sorry I have no defined answer! I don't think a lot of us feel some sort of relief till were holding our little ones.
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  #3  
January 25th, 2012, 02:14 PM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaylakay View Post
I think this is a question we ALL wish there was a definite answer for but sadly there is not...

I have horrible anxiety with this pregnancy. After 3 losses and this being the farthest along I have ever been you'd think I'd feel better. Nope. I worry about still born, premature labor and just plain problems with labor. It's like a constant dark cloud that follows me. Everytime I buy something I cringe that I'll never get to use it. Or when I see women with their cute babies I think I could never be THAT lucky. I know horrible right?

How do I deal with it? I take it one day at a time. Listening to my baby on my Doppler really helps or just talking it out with DH. I'm sorry I have no defined answer! I don't think a lot of us feel some sort of relief till were holding our little ones.

Ditto. I have anxiety disorder, even when not pregnant, and I wish there was an answer on when the worry will go away. I doubt the worry will even go away until after the baby is born too. I am terrified of my cervix failing right now, and I had no issues with any of my previous pregnancies. But because I had a LEEP and googled (stay AWAY from google) stories, now I am terrified of it failing. It is still within normal range for now thank god. Still, I worry non stop that they baby will just fall out of me. I have terrible nightmares because of it.

So basically . At least the ladies here understand your worry and anxiety.
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  #4  
January 25th, 2012, 02:45 PM
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Just as Kayla said, one day at a time. It really is hard after a loss, you have an appt, everything looks great, you leave the doc office feeling relief, you get home and are fine for a bit, then the worry creeps back in, the "what ifs" show up. You have to try and tell yourself, there isn't a sign for me to worry about, so that means all should be fine. But, that can be hard too. I use my doppler too...I feel my baby on occasion, but not enough. I am hoping that once this baby really starts kicking and jabbing on a regular basis, I might stop remembering that day back in August, that image on the u/s screen...once can hope right?!

Hang in there and hugs!! This PAL stuff is just plain tough!!
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  #5  
January 25th, 2012, 02:58 PM
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It is something we all struggle with. Just take it one day at a time or one hour at time if you have to. Try to enjoy what you can.
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  #6  
January 25th, 2012, 03:57 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
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It's hard not to get upset, I keep worrying something will go wrong and I can't wait to get out of my first trimester - I keep thinking everything will be okay then but-- I guess there is still so much that could go wrong.

As hard as it is not to worry about it, you have to just make short-term goals and try to focus on them. For instance, mine is making it to 12 weeks.
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  #7  
January 26th, 2012, 05:58 AM
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It's so hard isn't it. I think I just take it day by day and I keep telling myself to enjoy this pregnancy, no matter how long or short it is. I don't think I will ever feel secure being pregnant, and I envy people who have never have a loss and don't even give it a second thought. My cousin posted on facebook her BFP about five minutes after she got it, it didn't even occur to her that something may go wrong. Me, I won't be telling anyone until I'm clearly showing and can't hide it anymore!
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  #8  
January 26th, 2012, 07:09 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Like the others said, it's something we all deal with. Making it through one day at a time is really sometimes the best we can do.
missy123 likes this.
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  #9  
January 26th, 2012, 07:12 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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I agree with the other ladies. Take it one day at at time.
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  #10  
January 26th, 2012, 09:52 AM
acchickpea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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HUGS!!!!! I agree with all of these ladies! You can't have it take over your life... It'll just drag you down each and everyday... I'm not saying to forget about it but to move forward and think positive......
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  #11  
January 26th, 2012, 12:31 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curlygirl77 View Post
It's so hard isn't it. I think I just take it day by day and I keep telling myself to enjoy this pregnancy, no matter how long or short it is. I don't think I will ever feel secure being pregnant, and I envy people who have never have a loss and don't even give it a second thought. My cousin posted on facebook her BFP about five minutes after she got it, it didn't even occur to her that something may go wrong. Me, I won't be telling anyone until I'm clearly showing and can't hide it anymore!

I made the mistake of telling everyone during my first pregnancy, I was only 3 1/2 weeks when I found out and around the time my period was due I miscarried.

Second pregnancy I tried not to say anything about it, I actually made it a few days past my expected period only to loose the baby.

This third pregnancy I was not expecting to happen so quickly, only a month after the second, I decided just to tell everyone - expecting the worst. Even though I am approaching my 9 week I still have worries about everything going right. I am suppose to go in when I am 10 weeks for a checkup and 12 weeks for another u/s.
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  #12  
January 26th, 2012, 01:31 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm a wreck too, the pregnancy is on my mind every second of every day - I just don't know what I will do with myself if my u/s next weeks shows another still baby.
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  #13  
January 26th, 2012, 01:45 PM
Moldovandish's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hugs all around, ladies! It is good to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this.
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  #14  
January 26th, 2012, 05:19 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Yep, I was pretty anxious through all 3 of my pregnancies after loss. I just had to remind myself that worry didn't do anything to change the situation, and I just had to let go of that urge to try to control things.

My motto was "as far as I know, everything is okay right now." Could things go wrong again? yes. But they might not. So I just tried to not think about things that might not actually happen until I had real reason to worry.

It didn't always work, but it helped most of the time.
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  #15  
January 27th, 2012, 08:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
Yep, I was pretty anxious through all 3 of my pregnancies after loss. I just had to remind myself that worry didn't do anything to change the situation, and I just had to let go of that urge to try to control things.

My motto was "as far as I know, everything is okay right now." Could things go wrong again? yes. But they might not. So I just tried to not think about things that might not actually happen until I had real reason to worry.

It didn't always work, but it helped most of the time.
I try to use the same approach - reminding myself that I am doing everything I can to keep this baby healthy and I cannot control God's plan for this child. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a nervous wreck most of the time, but I try to stay positive...
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