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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By Shadeauxe
  • 1 Post By lindsey2000k
  • 2 Post By missy123

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March 4th, 2012, 08:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
I really never feel like I fit into DDCs. I am not sure why. Anyone else have this issue?

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March 4th, 2012, 09:24 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
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I never really felt like I fit into mine. I popped in now and then but never really stayed. I liked it here better.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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March 4th, 2012, 11:36 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Ditto to Jess. I was ghostly in my first one (2010) after the first trimester and almost non-existent in my last one (2011). I think it was mainly my age....and I always hated when I would see a loss thread and 2hrs later see one of those threads about how someone was hating being pg! I just could not "go with the flow".......part of PAL I guess!
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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March 5th, 2012, 01:43 AM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
I never fit in, but then, I don't fit in anywhere. I liked it here when pg.

To read updates about our baby born with major birth defects, like our Facebook page
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March 5th, 2012, 04:19 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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I've tried being a part of DDC's before but I just felt like so many of them focused on unimportant things and I got so frustrated with all the complaining (usually from the same people). I just feel more at home here with ladies who understand what your going through.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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March 5th, 2012, 04:38 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,820
I didn't really fit in at first. I am still not sure that I do, but at least there are some people in there that finally seems to appreciate my sense of humor. The amounts of inane posts have gone down, thank goodness.

Whining annoys me no matter where it is. I know that we all have good and bad days, but people that are negative the majority of the time irritate the hell out of me. My philosophy on that is, you're alive so STFU. I also hate excessive drama. These things can be found in every board.

Anyway, yes I totally get not fitting in. I just wish this board was as active as the DDCs.
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March 5th, 2012, 06:55 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Ohio
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I did not fit into most of mine but I must say the May DDC is pretty great.
There are posts every now and then when I think to myself "really you are complaining about that?"
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March 5th, 2012, 07:19 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
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I did not feel like I fit in at first, but now I fit in great. I guess I am lucky to have a DDC where everyone is so supporting of one another. Not too many people complain, which is great too. I still love the ladies here though!

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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March 5th, 2012, 09:22 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
It's hard to find your spot in a DDC. I got truly lucky with the August one. The July one, once I got pg again, was harder for me to get back in to. I did try, but I felt that I just no longer belonged, even though I will most likely deliver in July over Aug. I hope as time goes by you do feel more at home.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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March 5th, 2012, 11:17 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
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When I was TTC I would dream about how awesome it would be to be a part of a DDC... How I would share my pregnancy with them and make lifelong friends there. There was so much drama in there that I never fit into their clique.

It was meant to be as my lifelong friends were right here anyway
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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March 5th, 2012, 02:50 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
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I didn't join the DDC when I had Alex and I have no plans of doing it this time around either. This is my DDC all the support that I need, all the laughs that I need and more.

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March 5th, 2012, 05:47 PM
Hopefulpinkangel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,536
I was seriously blessed with the August DDC. They are just wonderful and filled with wonderful ladies. I have a feeling that we just got lucky and that's really not always the norm with a DDC. Being here has helped me because it's nice to have people that understand how scary PAL is.

Jan 2010 August 2011

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March 8th, 2012, 02:39 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 17,495
I fit in immediately with Josiah's DDC, but with this baby, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by how frenetic and crazy the post counts are in the DDC. I like things better once the initial craziness of a new DDC wears off, when you can actually settle in and get to know people better. I like the girls in our Oct. DDC so far, but it will take me awhile to feel like I've settled in.
Mommy to two beautiful boys, watched over by two angels in heaven

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March 8th, 2012, 07:35 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
I was actually just thinking this. I'm in there and there are a lot of women who have had losses, but there are also so many people in there who are just expecting to get babies out of their pregnancy already and I'm just not there yet.

Today, my pregnancy day involved crying because I was so scared to lift boxes I needed to lift. My pregnancy day involved feeling badly that the couple of people I told because I needed the support were more happy for me than I was able to feel for myself. I even had to sit on the toilet for several minutes getting up the courage to do #2. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to be pregnant again, but I'm more afraid than anything.

I'm hoping that I'll feel some relief once I'm getting my betas done, and then after hearing the heartbeat. I'm trying to use these milestones to make me feel better, but then I'm also afraid of them not happening.

Anyway, the short of it is I don't feel like I fit in right now, but I hope to later on when I feel more secure in my pregnancy.

Last edited by Belita; March 8th, 2012 at 07:41 PM.
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March 8th, 2012, 07:36 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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I didn't feel like I fit in with my last two DDC's (my losses) but I feel like I fit in with my current one (and the one with our son in 2008).

I just try to ignore the over complain-y posts... I feel the same way Courtney does.

Overall I really like my DDC. I think it has gotten better as the time passes though.

My Photography Website Pinterest My Etsy Shop
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March 9th, 2012, 12:44 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,084
I have found the same thing to be true. DDC's just aren't my thing. I really tried with this last one, but I had so many of the same issues as you guys. I can take it when someone has a tough pregnancy, cause those are hard. It's hard enough to be pregnant, let alone have issues on top of it...but it's the women who complain about it to the point where they say they shouldn't have ever gotten pregnant, or regret it. That just bugs me to no end. I just like it here and have found that most of what I worried about were the same things women here worry about. Baby movements, fetal death, complications, etc. Whether or not to paint the nursery pink or yellow just seemed trivial. Am I mean?
The adventures of raising a big family....Life, love and family in the Sock Bin! www.thesockbin.blogspot.com

Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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