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Freaking out...

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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March 9th, 2012, 06:12 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,966
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I went to a LLL meeting last night and found out the Doula I have hired is not a good Doula. So now I have to figure out how to ditch her.... but I have already had to give her a $250.00 deposit that I probably wont get back.
The ladies were talking about all the hidden rules they dont tell you about at the place I am having the baby and now im freakikng out. Most of them are all about the home births so I dont know if they are just trying to push that more or what but now im scared.

One of the leaders is a trained doula and after hearing me freak out about not knowing what to do and that I can not afford the Doulas they had recomended to me in the past and after months of searching online I settled on the one I hired. So the leader came to me after the meeting and said she has doula training and would be happy to come and help me... FOR FREE She is going on vacation 9 days after my due date so as long as I dont go way over she will be there... then the other leader stepped in and said if you do go over call me and I will come. They have both had 4 natural child births of there own as well.

So now I dont know what to do. I found this other doula pretty much lied to me to get me to hire her (told me the other doula I was talking to was not allowed to work with my DR office and they would kick her out when I showed up at the hospital with her, Also told me she is friends with this woman... and last night I find out no she is not).

The ladies last night told me to Email the doula I had hired and tell her how bad our money situation is and try to get back my deposit... but I doubt she will.

AHHHHH so now im starting to freak out about this birth, more so than I did my daughters.

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March 9th, 2012, 06:52 AM
Hopefulpinkangel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,536
Oh no!! I'm so sorry you found out the doula wasn't good. I hope that you can get your money back! I'm glad you were able to find people that could help!

Jan 2010 August 2011

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March 9th, 2012, 08:26 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and getting so closed to your due date. I am happy that the other ladies will do it for free. Take a deep breath and think that for the birth you are cover, it will be ok.
Did this woman show you any certifications or anything that shows that she is an doula? Is there a place where you can check about if she has any certifications? Ask the ladies that will help you with the birth. There has to be a way of checking her credentials. I would emailed her too and if she refuses to give you the money back, report her.

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March 9th, 2012, 08:34 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
I'm sorry she lied to you, and I hope you're able to get your deposit back.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

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March 9th, 2012, 08:55 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Wow! That is four shades of horrible. There is no reason she should have lied to you.

How did you give her the deposit? By credit card? If so, email her and explain the situation about how you decided you really can't afford a doula and are going to do it on your own. That you are grateful for her services (hoping you did not have a meeting or anything, otherwise she might be more likely to keep the deposit), but would like to have your deposit back. If she puts up a fuss, charge back the charge on your credit card. You would be in the right, as long as you did not sign a contract that said she got to keep the money. But if you paid check or cash, I am not sure you have any recourse and might have to take the loss. At least you did not get in the labor room and find this out! That would have been bad.

Just remember that you HAVE this. You can do it and obviously have tons of women in your corner to help. Just a little glitch in the system.
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March 9th, 2012, 09:27 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
She lied to you and was fraudulent. You're entitled to your money back legally since she misrepresented herself. Inform her of that if she doesn't want to refund the money. Say you can go to small claims court and have a case.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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March 9th, 2012, 10:33 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
She lied to you and was fraudulent. You're entitled to your money back legally since she misrepresented herself. Inform her of that if she doesn't want to refund the money. Say you can go to small claims court and have a case.
Ditto this!!

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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