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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By missy123
  • 2 Post By K.A.T
  • 1 Post By Belita
  • 1 Post By Jessghetti

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March 15th, 2012, 10:40 PM
caitea's Avatar Bun in the oven
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Lady Lake, FL
Posts: 44
My sister and her boyfriend (20 & 18 yrs old) moved in recently, and they won't stop running their mouths making jokes about my baby like "oh your baby's gonna come out a down syndrome hermaphrodite with no hair and an extra arm"...I know they're joking and if my child did come out with special needs, I'll love him or her just the same, but given our experience losing William, the idea of this baby being less than perfect is just terrifying because abnormalities end in miscarriage a good percent of the time. These two are so young and don't seem to understand why this bothers me, and of course they won't shut their young pie holes. Any ideas of what I can do or say, short of whacking them?

Make a pregnancy ticker
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March 16th, 2012, 06:29 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 865
wow...i can't believe anyone would say that! The next time they say something like that I would tell them exactly how that makes you feel and that its very rude and disrespectful. they will prob just play it off like a joke, but hopefully it will get your point across that its unacceptable to talk like that.
DH - Matt
DS - Owen 2yrs old (5/28/2009)
Twin Girls - April 23, 2012 (38 weeks)

3 angels (08, 10, 11)
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March 16th, 2012, 06:47 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Young or not that is not acceptable behavior. My oldest boys are their ages and if they ever said anything like that to anyone I would smack them.

Be straightforward with them.... tell them it is not a joke. That they need to show respect to people and if they do not have the basic concept of understanding manners they need to move out. This has my blood boiling.
Belita likes this.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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March 16th, 2012, 08:41 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
I agree it's not acceptable. I would flat out tell them that their behavior will not be tolerated. If they cannot be nice then do not say anything at all.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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March 16th, 2012, 08:44 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,238
Ditto on all the other ladies' comments... I cannot believe they would talk like that

Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!

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March 16th, 2012, 08:47 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
They moved in with you?
I would be straight with them, tell them they need to be respectful if they want to live with you, otherwise they know where the door is. It's harsh but that's not acceptable.

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March 16th, 2012, 09:05 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
I agree with Missy. They may be considered "young" but they are not stupid. Comments like that are never acceptable.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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March 16th, 2012, 09:09 AM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,498
See that would bring out my nasty side big time. I'd probably say something I would regret and move their butts right back out the door.

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March 16th, 2012, 10:13 AM
caitea's Avatar Bun in the oven
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Lady Lake, FL
Posts: 44
Thanks for all your support ladies! I delegated the conversation to DF, seeing as they actually listen to him. I just need to manage them better, today I said DF is doing the dishes later and was met with "Well why is HE doing it?!" "because unless you want to do it, or you want to scrape puke off the plates, he's doing it". They don't seem to respect or understand the importance of what's happening to my body and our family.
Make a pregnancy ticker
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March 16th, 2012, 10:23 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Completely unacceptable and I would tell them to cut the crap or get the f out!
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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March 16th, 2012, 10:34 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
Completely unacceptable. They are young, but plenty old enough to understand that behavior is hurtful and not okay. I agree, they either shape up or move out!
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March 16th, 2012, 12:32 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
I can't even imagine what I would do if someone said that to me! That is hurtful and unacceptable, even if they were only 10...

Shape up or ship out, I say!

I hope DF can get through to them!
4/2008 8/2011

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March 16th, 2012, 08:09 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
That is outrageous! Especially considering you are letting them come into your home and they have the nerve to say that about your baby? It's horrible, look if they are staying with you they at least need to respect you and not make fun of your pregnancy. I can't imagine how they'd feel if they got pregnant and someone said that to them.
caitea likes this.

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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