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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By JessP
  • 1 Post By missy123

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March 31st, 2012, 02:48 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 772
After Kristopher passed, the people with the Angels program at the Children's Hospital he was at recommended a website to me for grief and healing, they also have local chapters in each state. So a short time later I joined that site and eventually became good friends with another mommy there who had lost her precious son, whom she delivered at home at just 20 weeks. So we shared our stories, thoughts, feelings, really made a connection from clear across the country. It was nice to have someone else who would understand what I was going through because they had been through it too...I mean I know there are friends I have made from this site and I knew about this board but its been hard for me to come back to JM. Anyways about two weeks ago I replied to an email she had sent me and in it I told her about me being pregnant again. I did tell her that I will not talk bring it up, rather let her ask questions, etc...because I know how hard it is to hear of a pregnancy after a loss...the day Kris passed my bff told me she was pregnant (and she just had her baby last week) but I wanted nothing to do with her and she knew that and didn't take it personal because she understood what had just happened. Anyways I know that she's not taking it out on me directly but I still feel horrible because now she won't respond to me. I have some books on grief and children and such that were given to me that I don't need anymore, that I thought of asking her if she would like to have them...I thought that since she won't go to counseling that maybe they would help her a bit..but I don't know...I don't want to be pushy..I just want to make sure she's ok ya know? Anybody have any experience with this?

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March 31st, 2012, 03:05 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
I don't but I hope she's ok.

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March 31st, 2012, 04:57 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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Just give her time. Its so hard to hear about others getting pregnant or continuing on with healthy pregnancies when your not in that position. Hopefully she will come around. You could reach out and offer her the books but she may just see that as another reminder that you are moving forward and pregnant again. So perhaps holding off would be better considering the timing. Good luck and don't worry.
missy123 likes this.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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April 1st, 2012, 07:08 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Ditto what Jess said. Give her time.... I was TTC for 2.5 years and 4 losses and it never got easier to watch everyone on JM and IRL go on to have their babies. I was very happy for them but at the same time sucked into the black hole which was my own grief.
l1i2v3 likes this.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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April 2nd, 2012, 09:14 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I would hold on on the books as well. She probably needs time, she will come around, it's hard to hear that someone else is pg and you are not. Giver her some time when she is ready, you'll know.

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April 2nd, 2012, 05:09 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
Ditto the other ladies. I would just give her time.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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