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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By 3Sapphires
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May 3rd, 2012, 05:40 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
AND IM STILL FREAKING OUT! I really don't know why I'm being such a wuss about this! I'm not scared of hospitals (Jeeze I work in one! Haha) needles, or anything so it's not that type of fear (well I don't enjoy them) I'm just extremely nervous about the pain. I know women have been doing this forever and women in Africa give birth on a dirt floor and then continue working soon after (which I feel extremely bad for) I just can't seem to shake the feeling. I'm nervous if I don't go in somewhat confident I'll loose it completely. I do plan on an epi but I hate the horror stories.

Was your labor experience better or worse than you imagined? Why?

Did you go natural? If not how did the epidural work for you?

Any advice for a FTM?

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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May 3rd, 2012, 05:47 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,860

It will be alright. I personally wouldn't get any epi, the chances of a c/s go up with every intervention, and me being a VBAC can't risk it.

My second birth was a natural VBAC and the one thing I remember thinking at the time, was "just take it one contraction at a time"

they will hurt but your body does rest in between. Take it one at a time and worry about the next one when it starts.

You will do great!
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FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 (9wks) & 3/1/14 (9wks)
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Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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May 3rd, 2012, 05:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
My labors never got unbearable until it was almost time to push, and if I'd actually known how close I was to pushing, I would never have gotten and epi. Everyone is different, though.

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May 3rd, 2012, 06:39 AM
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I got an epi both times. One took, one didn't. (The one that took was much better,. LOL) Like Laurie though, the pain gets really bad when you're finally pushing, but even then, it's so close, that it's not bad, if that makes sense?? I hated being pregnant, but LOVED giving birth. It's so exciting!! Try to stay calm and just enjoy it!
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May 3rd, 2012, 07:23 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,966
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I had a Epi and it was horrilbe, it worked to well and that caused other issues. This time I am going all natural yes in the moment it might hurt really bad but recovery should be so much easier.
It is such a personal choice though. My friend had both her girls, induced & epi and had very easy births and recovery.

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May 3rd, 2012, 07:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,172
Was your labor experience better or worse than you imagined? Why?
For my first son, I was in early labor with a moderately high blood pressure so they induced me. It took a LOOONG time so I got the epidural. The epidural didn't work all the way on my right side. It was definitely manageable though . Worse than my imagination at the time but it was nothing compared to my second son.

For my second son, I had contractions at home all day. I could talk through them but it was kind of painful. They got closer together and more painful so we went to the hospital. When they examined me, I was at 3 cm but after the exam, my water broke. Then I progressed pretty quickly. 3 hours after I arrived at the hospital, he was born and somehow there wasn't enough time for the epidural. I was begging for it but in the last 30 minutes I just knew it wasn't happening. Like everyone said, it was painful but not didn't get really bad until just before pushing. Right before pushing, there wasn't a break at all. But I do remember falling asleep between contractions once. I don't know how I did it because my breaks were VERY short. LOL. Honestly, in the end I thought it would be worse than it was and I was surprised when it didn't get any worse. When I pushed, it got a lot better.

In the end, it think that it wasn't as painful as I feared it would be either time. Don't get me wrong, it HURT, but I welcomed the pain as something with a beautiful end and something I couldn't control (my body really took over) and breathed through the contractions while staring into my husband's eyes.

Any advice for a FTM?
Practice breathing, know it will be over and you'll be holding your baby, don't have high expectations. My first son, I didn't want an epidural but needed one. My second son, I begged for one but never got it. And plenty of women want to go natural but have to have a c-section. My cousin on my husband's side is a Mother/Baby nurse and she said that if they see a woman with a birth plan they already know she's getting a c-section (LOL).
I had my rainbow baby on December 14, 2011. Now my family is complete!
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May 3rd, 2012, 10:00 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I'm no help with this, my first was a c-section and I am hoping that I can do this one as natural as I possible can.
I am scare of the pain, I have very low tolerance for pain, so I am scare of labor. It's one in a lifetime experience. I know I will freak out but I hope I can be calm and take one contraction at the time.

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May 3rd, 2012, 12:24 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
I never gave birth two seconds of a thought when I was pregnant with my first. I figured I would take it as it came (yeah, prolly not the best idea!). BUT...he was all natural and it was MUCH easier than everyone made it sound. I just did lots of breathing and really did just take it one contraction at a time. They "hurt" but it is like pressure and tension, not like sharp pain, kWIM? And when it stops, it is completely gone until the next one comes. So you get a break.

I did not have an epi with my second...but did have pitocin. And if you can avoid the stuff, DO! It was painful and I hope to not repeat that experience.

My advice for new moms...STOP listening to horror stories, stop watching "A Baby Story", and if you can, avoid all birth stories from friends/family. Birth is mostly natural...if everyone would leave it alone (that includes doctors) a vast majority of babies would be born without complication. Remind yourself that your body is made to do it. Find some things that relax you and plan to use them in labor (some women like music, some like visual aides, some like water, etc). And just educate yourself on the biological process (read a book, they are less sensational). If you know what is happening and why, you are less likely to panic about it. Know your options (aka: turning down interventions if you prefer to do it natural, asking for interventions if you are set on an epi) and plan what your ideal situations would be in all events. I had a birth plan for all aspects...for a natural birth, for an epi, for a c-section, and in the horrible event of a stillbirth. I had it all written out, so I knew I could count on it being there for when I couldn't think of it off hand. We brought a copy to the hospital and I gave one to my doc too. And remember...you will do fine!!
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May 3rd, 2012, 12:34 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,238
Was your labor experience better or worse than you imagined? Why? My DS's labor was a better experience than I imagined - from start to finish was 2 hours and I had been told to expect it to be much longer! With DD it was worse - I had to have pitocin so the contractions were worse and I thought the labor would be shorter than the first, but it was longer (only an hour, but still contractions on pitocin stink).

Did you go natural? If not how did the epidural work for you? I had my son naturally & with DD I had IV pain meds since I already had the IV for the pitocin.

Any advice for a FTM? In all honesty the one thing I always think back on is that the pain didn't seem to even be a thought once I saw my baby!

Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!

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May 3rd, 2012, 03:45 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 620
I just wanted to say good luck! I think it's completely normal to be really nervous. I'm no help though, I was a scheduled c-section so I never had a contraction even.
Thank you to .:Shortcake:. for my awesome siggy!
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May 3rd, 2012, 08:16 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I'm sorry, I just have to speak in favor of epidurals here. My track record is 4 induced labors with epidural, and no csections, so having interventions does not mean you will absolutely have to have a csection. Take it as it comes, do what you need to do. I actually labor a whole lot better with an epidural. I stall at about 4/5 cm, and then the epidural allows me to relax enough to continue.

I never had a birth plan. I read a lot of books and learned as much as I could about the physical process of labor and all my options. I researched how epidurals worked, all the different induction processes worked, what exactly happened during a csection, so that I would know what doctors were talking about. But I never had a set plan of the way I wanted things to go because I knew I had no idea what would happen, and very little control over it. That way I could take each moment as it came and make the best decision in the moment.

Of course you're nervous. You've never done it before. I was nervous every one of my 4 times.

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May 3rd, 2012, 08:22 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,084
With this last kiddo I was feeling the same way as you....nervous, excited, scared of the unknown...and it was my 10th!!! Every labor is different, every experience is different. I had three all natural (wouldnt ever do it again!), I had epi's with 7, and some worked and some didn't. You just don't have a clue what to expect. Go in as prepared as you can, take it one moment at a time, keep to your plan as much as possible and know that in the end, no matter what happens, you get to go home with a beautiful rainbow..and that's all that matters! Good luck....
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Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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May 3rd, 2012, 09:43 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,583
My feelings on birth is that baby has to get out somehow, and its going to happen no matter what so you can only do so much worrying about it...

That being said, Kaiden was a very very easy - perfect - birth...I had an epi and it was absolutely awesome...worked perfectly, no side effects - AWESOME!

This time around baby is breech so I have a scheduled c-section, which completely sucks cause I loved Kaidens birth so much, we are going to try to turn him/her beforehand (and if baby turns then we are inducing immediately), but if baby doesnt turn, then I have no choice in the matter cause breech is not going to be delivered vaginally in a hospital around here...

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May 4th, 2012, 08:53 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Honestly - the key is do not go in with a birth plan.... every labor is different. For me I had all different labors, some with pain meds, 1 all natural (not even an IV). 2 were induced with pitocin.... 1 epidural.

You will be ok sweetie, just don't have huge expectations of yourself - it just adds unneeded stress. Go with the flow and in the end the most important thing is you get to hold your sweet baby. xoxoxo
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CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

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May 4th, 2012, 12:02 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I like birth plans, but I think the key is to be flexible. Gather your support so that in the moment, you have someone there who knows what you want, but be prepared to change your mind if necessary.

I went med free with L in a hospital, and this baby will be born med free in water at home. I'm really excited about it! L's labor was painful and hard, but I think a big part of that was the fact that I was stuck in a hospital assessment room and there was a lack of support and preparation. J tried his best and I love him for it, but it's not easy for him to see me in pain and not try to solve it. This time, I am going to have J and a doula that I love, and I have read a ton about how stress and fear can cause increased pain, etc. For me, the risk of interventions is not worth it unless absolutely necessary.

You are going to do great, mama!

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

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May 4th, 2012, 04:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,398
I'm a csection momma, so I'm not much help, but I did have an epidural after laboring for 28 hours at that point. I needed the rest, I was only functioning on the 3 hours of sleep I got the night before when labor woke me up. My labor as 43 hours long and I pushed unproductively for 3 hours. She was big and badly positioned and my pelvis is a bit too small to deliver big babies, even if she was correctly positioned. I was csection from the get go no matter what.

The epidural did really stall my labor, though. I needed pitocin to get me the rest of the way. Before I got it, I went from 3 to a 6 in an hour! Granted it took me 24 hours to get to 3 cm lol. I have a strong feeling if I hadn't gotten the epidural when I did, she would have been born that morning, not night time. I could still feel what I needed to feel to push.. sometimes. I say sometimes because the feeling kinda came and went. Sometimes I would feel pressure, sometimes I would be having a contraction and not even notice until I felt my stomach get all hard.

During the csection though.. that kinda freaked me out. My legs were totally numb. They could have amputated a toe for all I knew and I doubt I would have noticed until I saw I was missing one lol. I felt more than I was told I was going to feel during my csection, though. Wonky epidural? Possible. I felt all these weird shock sort of sensations. Kind of like I was getting shocked by hot wire over and over and over in my stomach. Felt that way until he was done cutting.

I'm still trying to decide if I want to try a vbac after all that, or give up. They say you need to be able to relax. For me, that's impossible in a hospital setting. I have a phobic reaction to surgeries and stuff though, so I do have that kind of fear.
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.

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