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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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May 6th, 2012, 03:06 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
I still haven't gotten the nerve to set up my baby girls nursery. All of her stuff is sitting in giant piles, in boxes, in bags, in packages, tags on etc. AND my due date is in less than 50 days... But that doesn't mean she wont come before. I have a cervical check the other day and my OB said my cervix is starting to open so there's a chance she will come before my EDD. Yet... I won't set things up!!!!

I was at a baby shower yesterday and there was the cutest 3 month old baby girl and my sister was like "Thats probably what your baby will look like!" and I thought to myself.. No... I'm not gonna be THAT lucky. I just can't convince myself I'll be coming home with a new baby girl cause I'm so scared of stillbirth and complications with labor.

I know I have complained about this before and Im grateful I can vent here and you guys will understand... But a 1.5 months till my due date and I just can't set things up for her? I feel so pathetic!

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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May 6th, 2012, 04:16 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
maybe just take it one step at a time and force yourself to start setting up little things?

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May 7th, 2012, 05:48 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
I would start to set things up. Take it slow, and set up what you can handle. Then, when you start to get really close, start washing a few items that you will need immediately after birth. It is scary, I know. I was told I was higher risk of a still born because of my diabetes. I FREAKED out. I go weekly for biophysical u/s's though. Plus, you are not crazy. It's still hard to believe that I am pregnant!

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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May 7th, 2012, 06:58 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,051
I think it's normal to have these fears after losing a baby. Take little steps. If clothes aren't washed, throw a few outfits at a time into your normal laundry. Ask your husband to set up the crib so that you don't have to do it yourself.
Mama to an elementary school boy, kindergarten girl, and my miracle toddler girl.
Three 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011 + 10/2014)
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May 7th, 2012, 07:15 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
I think it's normal but I do think you should force yourself to try to do some slowly.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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May 7th, 2012, 07:27 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I had the bassinett but other than that I was not prepared for Scarlett until about a week before she was born. When the hospital called me to come in for my induction I went into the bathroom, took 1 last picture of my belly and then looked at all of her stuff around my bedroom and said to my husband "if something goes wrong please make sure you just throw all this stuff away before I come home".

I am not normally a negative person - but when it came to pregnancy the pain and anguish of my losses is what surfaced. (((hugs))) If I lived near you I would come help.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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May 7th, 2012, 11:01 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I agree, do a little at the time, force yourself to wash a few items at the time. Set the crib, ask DH to do it for you, I sat there while DH set up DS crib, I wanted to be part of it, so I watched.

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May 7th, 2012, 11:09 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
No worries! I set my son's nursery a month before he was born (so two months beofre I was due) I still only use it for changing diapers! Chances are you won't use it for at least the few few months....

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