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I dont understand people...

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 3 Post By K.A.T
  • 2 Post By Hopefulpinkangel
  • 1 Post By Pitridge
  • 2 Post By ashj_1218

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May 10th, 2012, 09:03 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
I posted a status on Facebook saying this exactly:

"You know your almost 34 weeks pregnant when putting on shorts feels like an Olympic Sport! Haha!"

As a joke after having to change into shorts and noticed I was out of breath! Well someone I work with commented this huge long comment about how I don't appreciate my pregnancy and how it's a beautiful thing and I shouldn't complain. She also mentioned how "weak" I was because I started my leave early and how shes due Sunday and working 2 days before that... I also found out that a few other people at my work have been saying mean things about me due to me leaving early and all this stuff. I was astonished. (I work in a hospital and these are supposed to be caring nonjudgmental people... Ya right!)

What?!?! I didnt think a little joke was going to cause such an uproar! I nicely explained to her about all 3 of my losses and how I wouldnt trade anything for my little girl. I told her about the hopeless nights and the fears I had and as I know pregnancy is hard you must work in order to get something great. Well she didn't say anything else so I just defriended her and a few other people from work. Now I really don't want to go back in August.

Point being is... Nobody should judge other people or call them unappreciative when they don't know their story. She didn't know mine but insisted on judging me and that really hurts that's what society is today.

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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May 10th, 2012, 09:31 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
I'm sorry. People never know the full story yet are so willing to make judgements on others. Ugh I can't believe people who work in a hospital would even been suck jerks. They of all people should get it. If you had to stop early, you had to stop. It's not like you wanted to stop, you're forced to stop by the doctor for safety reasons. Some people will never be happy unless everyone around them is miserable with them.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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May 10th, 2012, 10:10 AM
Hopefulpinkangel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,536
Ugh I just hate people sometimes. Try not to let them get to you, they are obviously not very nice people.
LindseyE117 and kaylakay like this.

Jan 2010 August 2011

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May 10th, 2012, 10:18 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I honestly think your comment is hilarious. I don't see how your co-worker got that you are complaining. Has she been pg before? If she has, she should off thought that was funny.
Sometimes people make comments that they shouldn't. You girls are right,she doesn't know your story, so she shouldn't say anything. I'm wondering if she also has a story and that's where the comment came from. She shouldn't of judge you, I think we all deserve the chance to prove ourselves before being judge. But I'm sorry to say, please don't get mad, but aren't also doing the same thing to her?
I used to get mad, when I heard other people were pg on Facebook and we couldn't get pg, I would talk to dh about it and he would always say, well you don't know their struggles, and that is true, I try very hard to take that approach with things.
Her comment about your leave, it's your doctor's orders that send you home early, ignore her comment.
kaylakay likes this.

Last edited by Pitridge; May 10th, 2012 at 10:20 AM.
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May 10th, 2012, 12:16 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Wow...I find the comment funny...and think I made a similar one when I was very preggo with Kieran! How rude of her to assume your joke (the haha should have given it away!) was negative and turn it into a place to air her opinions about YOUR pregnancy.

Honestly, some people are like that. And it probably won't change when she has her kid. She will be comparing him/her to everyone else and making sure people know how her baby is so smart/beautiful/funny. It's best to start ignoring her now. And finding some people who are supportive of your choices, no matter what they are. Unfortunately, we live in a judgmental society and when you find some women who are open-minded and fun to be around...attach to them like Velcro. You will find they are absolutely essential to your sanity

Or just come here we are cool too!!
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May 10th, 2012, 02:09 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
Wow, she was sure acting like a d-bag!
Weak? Really? That's so rude - I can't believe they made such a big deal out of a comment like that.

I think you acted best that you could in that situation, if needs be you can maybe find work somewhere else.

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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May 11th, 2012, 01:33 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 17,495
I get really irritated when people act like every pregnant woman should feel and act the same during their pregnancy. Just because SHE worked up until the end, doesn't mean it would have been the right choice for you! Everybody's bodies handle pregnancy differently. As for your original comment, I read it and totally got the joke. I didn't hear complaining in it at all! Good for you for defriending her.
Mommy to two beautiful boys, watched over by two angels in heaven

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May 11th, 2012, 05:54 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,860
what a jerk! I thought what you said was funny too! and true! haha!

I'm sorry you were with a bunch of a-holes

FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 (9wks) & 3/1/14 (9wks)
Chemical Pregnancy 5/31/15
Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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May 11th, 2012, 08:19 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Wow.... what a *&^$#!! I got the joke right away, and I do not see it as a complaint at all! Sounds like there are a lot of rude people where you work anyway. Maybe you should start looking around during your leave.

Also, screw them, all of them. No one knows how you feel except you. I hate people who make assumptions about other people without knowing the full details.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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May 11th, 2012, 10:11 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,398
Uhg.... sounds to me like they're only caring and nonjudgemental to the patients and that they have nothing left for their coworkers.

It's not like you don't understand and greatly appreciate the miracle of pregnancy. We all do.
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.

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May 11th, 2012, 11:21 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
Umm, even if it wasn't meant as a joke, there was really no place for her to make a comment like that! First, she doesn't know your story and even if it was a complaint, which I would not have taken that as, so what, struggled to get pregnant or not, we can still be uncomfortable and still need to be on leave. It's not like you chose to go out early...sheesh!

There was one time right after my loss that I made a comment to a girl who was actually complaining about the movement of her baby, I just simply said, at least you know the baby is ok...but, after I did it, I was like, I probably shouldn't have said that...sometimes we just don't filter like we should, but her complaint was actually a complaint that the baby was moving too much and she couldn't get anything done, anyways, I digress...good for you for unfriending her!
4/2008 8/2011

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May 11th, 2012, 12:52 PM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,498
I'm glad you defriended her!!!

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May 11th, 2012, 02:51 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I love that joke. It is so true too! Sorry she chose that forum to air her opinions. She should just shut up. I went home from work early all the time. I ended up on bed rest! People don't know the story at all and should just keep quiet. Sorry they were rude.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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