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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By Shadeauxe
  • 1 Post By luvmykids623

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May 27th, 2012, 12:03 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
So my biggest concern with having a child is how my parenting is going to be. I didn't have the best of childhoods (it wasn't horrible - but there were some issues within the family) and I don't want to repeat or let any of that trickle down onto my children.

Does anyone recommend any good parenting books? I'm just wanting to raise them as normal and balanced as I can (and I think that is the goal with most parents.) It's hard sometimes to escape the influences you had as a child and not have some of the traits or characteristics as your parents - I am meaning the unsavory ones.

I think everyone only wants good things to happen in their children's lives, that nothing upsetting or traumatizing will happen - it's silly to think there won't ever be anything to hurt your children's feelings. The idea of having so much impact and so much influence on such a little developing mind is really scary for me, I just want to be a good parent.

Is anyone else in this boat?

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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May 27th, 2012, 03:36 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
We practice attachment parenting. It's all about treating your child with the respect and understanding we want for ourselves. It really intuitive and just feels right. We don't use the cry it out method, and we believe that responding to you baby's cry is important, whether she is hungry wet, or just needs to snuggle. There is a lot more to it, but I am not able to get into the depth of it. The ladies over at the attachment parenting board can help!

Amazon.com: The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby (9780316778091): William Sears, Martha Sears: Books

Here is the JM Attachment Parenting board.
Attachment Parenting - JustMommies Message Boards

Edited to add: you are going to be a great mom, and not to stress about parenting too much. It really comes naturally, and you won't have to worry about things like discipline for the first year-ish anyway. Enjoy you LO and LOVE up on him/her!

Last edited by stargatemommy; May 27th, 2012 at 03:42 PM.
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May 27th, 2012, 05:34 PM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,820
I didn't have a great childhood either. I think common sense and the fact that you are conscious of not repeating your own childhood will get you most of the way. Any book about babies will help you deal with children from a physiological standpoint.
luvmykids623 likes this.
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May 27th, 2012, 06:50 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
I myself had a horrible childhood, which I honestly think helps me be a better mom. I know exactly what I don't want for my child, and I feel very passionately about it.

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May 27th, 2012, 06:54 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
I agree with Courtney. I didn't have a great childhood at all, in fact there were parts that were quite nightmarish. I know how I felt and what I experienced growing up, and am very cognizant of not repeating that type situation with my kids. It comes naturally, and I really think that since you're already interested in not repeating history, that you won't. You'll be a great mom!
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