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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 2 Post By Belita

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June 18th, 2012, 06:53 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
Cross-posted from my journal:

I'm feeling really angry right now and need to get this out. It's weird how minor annoyance yesterday turned into full-blown anger today!

Yesterday my step-grandmother and mother were going on about me not enjoying when Sean gets bigger and I'm feeling rib pain from his movements and not sleeping well. My step-grandmother has never even been pregnant and she's going on about this because of what she hears (my grandfather already had his three sons with my grandmother and didn't want any more kids). My mom has said numerous times that she feels badly for me because I've had the morning sickness and then been stuck inside because of allergies, etc...

Why do they think I'm not enjoying it? Even when I'm complaining I'm loving the fact that I can complain.

I posted this to Facebook this morning: "hates when people assume I am miserable while pregnant or will be later on. I know the pain of losing a baby and if it means putting myself through hell and back to have a healthy baby come November, BRING IT!!! I'll be over here loving every **** second!!!"

And it's true. Even when I'm finding that some aspects of pregnancy aren't enjoyable, I'm loving every miserable second because I have the chance to feel this way. After losing Gabriel I wasn't sure how long it would take us to conceive again or if we'd even be able to carry a baby to term.

I count my lucky stars every day that Sean is healthy and thriving and cannot imagine feeling any other way.
1InSummerland and LiamsMother like this.

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June 18th, 2012, 08:46 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I'm sorry....people think that because they had a bad experience everyone else will as well. What I hate the most are those people that never had kids and are giving you advise or tell you how you should feel or how you should so thing. I know it's hard but ignore it as much as you can. They can't make you feel miserable because you have a miracle growing in your belly and no matter what, you are over the moon with happiness, so try not to pay too much attention to them.

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June 18th, 2012, 09:17 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
That's part of what makes me so angry, is that the step-grandmother who has never been pregnant wasn't just telling me I'll change my mind later on about enjoying feeling kicks, she was interrupting me talking about how much I'm loving it to do so! I don't try telling her all about how she should feel through menopause!

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June 18th, 2012, 11:04 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,238

That must have been really annoying! I wish people remembered that everyone is different & experiences the ups and downs of pregnancy differently. I'm sure she is just trying to feel more involved having never been there herself, but I'm sorry you have to endure it...

Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!

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June 18th, 2012, 12:20 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
Try not to stress about it too much, I have had a similar problem with many women coming up and telling me their experiences with pregnancy and how 'they felt' assuming I would have the same experience. Even though your step-grandmother never had kids I am sure she just wanted to say her piece (and sometimes elderly types are very pushy this way.)

But yeah, those baby kicks do get much stronger!

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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June 18th, 2012, 03:33 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
I usually brush the comments aside, but yesterday was just too much for me. I'm feeling better now, but am still frustrated.

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