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Father Bonding with Newborn

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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June 30th, 2012, 08:49 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
So did any of you ladies have a hard time with your DH bonding with the baby - I know some men take to it easily and others have next to nothing to do with the infant. My husband is very eager to help out with the baby but I feel bad since he can't experience the physical aspect of being pregnant. He has been with me at every appointment and every ultrasound - I also tell him everything I read up about pregnancy and the baby. I try to include him as much as possible - from what we buy her to every little pain I have, lol.

So anyways, is there any advice for men to help them bond and get that connection? I feel as a father it must be harder to get to that point since they kind of had to watch from the sidelines.

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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June 30th, 2012, 09:37 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,398
My DH took 6 weeks of paid daddy leave. I understand not everyone is as fortunate as he is with his job and awesome benefits. I will say he got flustered easily with her (and still does and she is nearly 7 months old) when she was crying and nothing he would do would make her happy. Clean diaper, fed, burped, being held, not being held, nothing worked. He never stopped loving her, he would just pass a very upset baby off to me so I could try to get her to chill out which still didn't work half the time.
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.

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July 1st, 2012, 08:27 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
I honestly think it comes pretty naturally once the baby is here. For women it's different because you feel the baby moving, you feel the hiccups and the kicks and they are kind of an outsider... but once the baby is here and they can hold them, make them smile, it's just a whole new experience for them once the baby is here

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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July 2nd, 2012, 04:43 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
For Dh is came natural, well that and the fact that I couldn't move so he had a lot of bonding time with DS. With this one, it's completely different, at least as far as pg goes. With DS he would come to dr appointments, feel the baby move, with this one, he's been in 3 appointment, which I know with another LO it's difficult, we'll see how he does once the baby is here.

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July 2nd, 2012, 10:27 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
It totally comes natural... Sometimes that I joke that DD likes DH more! Haha. I did have an emergency c section and a horrible infection so I didn't get to hold Ava for like 4-5 hours after birth. but DH was with her the whole time. It makes me think if that's why there so bonded. Also since I had a c section DH had to do a lot of the care the first couple weeks. It'll come natural. I pinky promise.

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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July 3rd, 2012, 10:12 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
With Red it was a total shock to him as how natural it all came to him. He was very excited that we were having a baby and he knew he loved her already but he did not realize how much insane, crazy love he would feel for her. Right from the start he bonded with her. We had some hickups in the beginning with me feeling overwhelmed with caring for her but once I told him I needed more help and in what way we got past it.

He adores her so much that he spends most of his spare time playing with her. She is "Daddy's Little Girl" through and through. He is traveling out of state for work right now and we go with him because he can't stand to be away from her for more than a day.

Advice for new mommies: Tell your husbands what your needs are with the baby. Take 30 minutes of each day for yourself. Have Daddy help out and be specific about what you need help with. They don't get it and in Red's case he was shocked as he did not realize how much I was exhausted.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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