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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 15th, 2012, 08:56 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 438
Hi ladies! I'm officially 8 weeks today and I feel like I'm mentally breaking down. I have 9 more days till my first appt. i feel so left out of my due date group because they're all talking about birth plans and buying their own labor gowns or making labor playlists and all I can think of is how bitter I am and how my body has betrayed me and instead of being happy, I'm just gearing up for another loss.
Any tips to get me through the next week?

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October 15th, 2012, 09:07 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
First off, congratulations on your pregnancy! What you are feeling is absolutely and completely normal after loss. It is frustrating and sad. When I was pregnant, it was SO hard for me in early pregnancy to be part of my DDC. It took awhile for me to fully join because of the reasons you mentioned. Lots of thoughts and prayers for a wonderful rainbow baby for you.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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October 15th, 2012, 09:09 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Truly. There is nothing I can say that will make it better. I have learned that even though others can try to make me feel confident, I just am not. In actuality, I find I pretend and it makes it a little better. Just pretend you aren't scared or angry or just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Participate like its fine. It's better than sitting on the sidelines feeling terrified and negative. The waiting is the worst part. I hope times goes by quickly for you and you get great news next week!
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October 15th, 2012, 09:30 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way but I think it is completely normal for a pregnancy after a loss. it took me awhile before I felt comfortable in my due date club. Just try to stay busy and think good thoughts.

I'm sending lots of prayers your way that this is your rainbow baby and that you will begin to feel more confident about this pregnancy soon.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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October 15th, 2012, 10:17 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
take it one day at a time, and avoid the threads (every DDC has them, the annoyingly takes for granted everything will be perfect kind) that amp up your very normal worries. Hopefully after your appt you will feel a little more secure - KUP! ((((HUGS))))

Savannah Stylin!

Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
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October 15th, 2012, 11:03 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,238

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

I know what you mean about some of the posts in the DDC - it is really hard to not say that they shouldn't count their perverbial chickens before they're hatched, but it's important to think positively too.

Praying for a very happy and healthy pregnancy for you!!!!

Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!

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October 15th, 2012, 12:28 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
Hugs. Totally normal after a loss.

My tips for you are to avoid the DDC completely - others may disagree but that is what helps me. I don't join until I am feeling relatively safe and well past my loss milestones. And, keep busy!!!! Try to just fill your day with tasks and errands so you don't think about it.

I am feeling fine right now but I know I will be a huge mess before my first u/s. I just know it.

Hope you get through the next 9 days okay and T&P for a great 1st appt!!!!

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October 15th, 2012, 01:52 PM
martilynne's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,987
Welcome and congrats! What you are feeling is normal and I hope the next few weeks fly by for you.

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