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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By kaylakay

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December 9th, 2012, 10:58 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
So guys... Ava is officially 6 months old! Yay! I said when she was 6 months old I would let her sleep in her nice crib and room by herself...

Well it's now 11:00 and I had to pull her back into our room in her Pack N Play because I couldn't do it... I seriously was laying in bed crying just thinking about her alone in there and what if something happened. Ava did just fine. It was all me! I'm being the baby.

Anyone else be like this? Why can't I let her sleep in her room we worked so hard on?
missy123 likes this.

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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December 9th, 2012, 11:15 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,913
I understand how hard that transition is! Our son slept in bed with us until he was a year old, he had reflux real bad and was colicky all the time so instead of getting up to nurse him 8-10 times a night, he just slept next to me so I could try to get as much sleep as I could manage. He did start getting better around 10 months and finally at a year my DH put his foot down. It was hard for me and DS, DS cried a lot at first and wanted Mommy. But in the end, I can say it was worth it! No more tiptoeing around our bedroom if we woke before him and no more sharing the bed with a wiggly baby. DS still loves to crawl in bed with us once in awhile, but that's it.

I'd say, if your little Ava is ok with the transition and you're not, see what you can do to make it more bearable for you. Can you put the crib by her bedroom door so you can peek in easily? Do you have a baby monitor? I love having one of those, I can crank that up and hear the littlest things in his room, even if we're out watching a movie in the living room. No more being afraid of not hearing him wake up and cry and need me.

Are you worried about how she will feel emotionally, or more worried something bad might happen while she's out of your eyesight?
If emotionally--you could do things to comfort her (even if she doesn't need it, it might help you!) like putting one of her stuffed animals in your bed for a couple nights so it smells like Mommy, and then put it in her crib--I've also laid down flat my pillowcase on his mattress so it smells like me.
If wondering about something bad happening, keep in mind for 8 or however many hours a night she was in your room, you were sleeping and not totally aware of her, yet she did just fine.

And lastly, what about an Angel monitor? It sets off an alarm if your baby stops moving/breathing. They're spendy though---I think about $100. Just a thought! Nice for paranoid moms like you and me!

PS I slept with a stuffed animal for a little while after DS was no longer in bed with us, I missed that little warm body curled up in my arms!

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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December 9th, 2012, 11:20 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
I have been there. most recently at 14 months! lol

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December 10th, 2012, 06:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,259
It is so hard to move them to their own room. Try doing it a little at a time. It is a transition for both of you.
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December 10th, 2012, 07:40 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Same here. Jacob is 7 1/2 months and still in our room. It is so hard moving them to their own room. With Jackson I moved him at 8 months and I think for the first week, I checked on him almost every hour. I was exhausted after that week.

We are planning on moving Jacob once he can sit up in bed. I don't want him to sit up in bed and see us there. I am dreading the moved and your right it is definitely harder on momma's than babies.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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December 11th, 2012, 08:13 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
I think I moved my babies early just for this reason Reagan was in her room by 5 weeks and Addy by 8 or 9 weeks. I still get up with Addy at least once a night, but we both sleep better now that she is in her own room...

I have an Angel Care monitor that we used for a bit, it was great for peace of mind. I had to turn it off when we had to elevate her bed because of her cold or it would have gone off constantly, but it is a great tool for easing ones mind!

I agree with the other advice, do it in steps so that is easier for both of you!
4/2008 8/2011

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December 11th, 2012, 07:18 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Honestly, I say go with what YOU feel is comfortable. With all my boys they went into their own rooms right away. Now Scarlett slept in bed with us until she was 9 months and still shares a room with us. We have a big bedroom and her crib is next to our bed. If it makes you cry then leave her with you...

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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