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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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January 20th, 2013, 01:11 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
So yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter from my sister in laws house... She was kind enough to watch her while I rested because I am battling a horrible cold.

I cant even remember how I got on the subject but she said told me I should be thinking about having any more kids until I am finished with college.

Well I proceeded to tell her since I wont be done with college for 6 years that so would most definitely wont happen because I don't want my kids that far apart. I also told her we may start trying as early as when Ava turns 1.

She told me that was stupid, I am asking for a death wish and how expensive babies are.

Well of course I know how expensive babies are I have one.

I left annoyed and then my husband got a call from my MIL later... She then told him we shouldn't even be thinking about another baby any time soon blah blah blah.

I am so annoyed. This is MY family... I don't want large spaced children. My sister and I are 6 years apart and I always wish we were closer.

I just had to rant... Anyone else have your family telling you how to raise yours?

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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January 20th, 2013, 01:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,259
Im sorry they were like that. Your absolutly right, it is your family and your choice. My MIL likes to but in about medical stuff with my kids. My first was a preemie and she loved making it sound like i was overreacting to things. After our 3rd hospital stay for heart problems she finaly caught on that it was real. She still does it but not as much. I finally just stopped talking to her about it or just informing her after we had made a decision. I suggest just not talking to them about it and when you are pregnant again then tell them. I hope they butt out from now on.
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January 20th, 2013, 01:45 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
Wow! They have a lot of nerve! I'm sure a lot of people think things like that about other people's families, but in my opinion it is completely inappropriate for anyone to say something about it. I think if my IL's did that to me, the next time they brought it up, I would try to say something like, "I'm sorry, but I really feel like this conversation is inappropriate because our family decisions are up to me and DH. Thanks for your concern." I'd be afraid if it went any farther than that, I would flip out on them.
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January 21st, 2013, 10:44 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
Not with me so much, but my MIL really thinks that BIL and SIL should have another and I am pretty sure they are content with just 1. She just can't fathom an only child, but it is their prerogative and if they only want 1, that is their choice. Lots of children are only children and they are totally fine

I would just not bring it up to them and just tell them when you do get pregnant that you are expecting...if they bring it up, just ignore it or brush it off and change the subject. That is so annoying!!
4/2008 8/2011

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January 21st, 2013, 10:49 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Sorry your family is telling you when to have kids. I just wouldn't listen to them and do what you want and what is best for your family. I totally agree with wanting to have your kids closer together. I want mine closer together also.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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January 21st, 2013, 01:38 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
Hmm, well its' nobody's business but your own (and your DH) on how many kids you have/when. I mean they aren't paying for them, they aren't raising them, they aren't responsible for them in the least -so why does it effect them?

For me, I want my kids close together too, I am looking at around age 2 with Chelsea before I start planning for another. I was 10-12 years younger then my brother and sister, so believe me, I know about kid-spacing!

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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January 21st, 2013, 04:27 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
It drives me crazy that other people think it's their business how others reproduce! We startes "trying" for #2 when Pete turned 6 months. By trying I mean, not preventing, and we chose to do it that way because we know how long it takes for us to have successful pregnancies. We got lots of comments. As it is, the 2 will be 2 years apart and that is good for me

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