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Reality check with potty training

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By Daisee37
  • 1 Post By melissalaw
  • 1 Post By L-SBB

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April 3rd, 2013, 05:14 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
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Hey ladies, just wanted to bounce this off of you who have been through potty training. See if I'm thinking about this right or not!

My son is 3, he turned 3 in January. He is sort of halfway potty trained, I guess. He started potty training during this pregnancy and I haven't always had a lot of energy to put into it. So at this point, he pees in the potty for part of the day, still poops in a diaper, and wears a diaper for bedtime and naptime.

Well I guess DH thinks that I should just force DS to use the potty for pooping, whether he wants to or not, whereas I am not fond of the idea of making potty training a kockdown, dragout fight between me and my toddler. Basically I just suggest the potty from time to time in regards to pooping but DS prefers a diaper. We've tried bribing him and he's not interested in the bribes. He's totally capable of doing it, and tells us whenever he needs to poop in his diaper. He just doesn't want to use the potty for it, for whatever reason.

DH thinks it would be easier on me for having a newborn if we could get DS potty trained first. But I've heard that they can have relapses when they potty train close to a sibling being born. I can totally see this happening, because DS is shy about using the potty and doesn't want anyone helping him but me. Not even his daddy. So while I am out of commission for the first couple of weeks recuperating from delivery, I won't be able to help him much with that. So my plan was to just go with how DS wants to do it right now, even if that means changing diapers for him after Kody is born, because it will require less energy from me than trying to stay on top of potty training.

Am I just being lazy here? I mean I know that I am to some extent but I kinda thought I'd focus in on potty training DS after the birth of the baby.

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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April 3rd, 2013, 06:36 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
My sons (all of them) were not fully potty trained until about 3.5yrs. They are much different than girls. They have no issues with poop in their pants, lol. Dont force it, it never works, trust me. They will get the hang of it on their own time. When the baby comes, it might make it easier actually. When they see a tiny baby using diapers, it does something to their ego's, lol. I can say this though, if your at home all day (not sure if you work or not) but going completely naked for 2-3 days and picking up some accidents along the way will be a sure fire way to complete the process. Pull ups, diapers, are all safety nets......once they see their business on themselves or on the floor, its enough to never want to do it again, lol.
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April 3rd, 2013, 09:21 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Aw thanks, I wonder if maybe he's just not ready quite yet. But yes that might be a good idea to just not let him have a diaper anymore during the day and make him go in the potty!

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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April 4th, 2013, 08:40 AM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Twin Cities, MN
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We didn't even start to potty train my son until he was about 3 years & 3 months (2 months after his little sister was born). He showed no interest, and I knew that with a baby on the way, I wouldn't have the energy to chase after him, fight with him, and clean up the messes! I also thought that he could relapse when the baby was born, and I didn't want to spend all that effort on potty training him when he would just regress as soon as the baby came.

When we started training him, he got the hang of peeing in the potty pretty quickly. But he, too, refused to poop in the potty. It took probably another month or so for him to poop in the potty. We would stash books and stuff in the bathroom--we even got him one of those v-tech v-reader things for the bathroom--and we'd just have him camp out in there until he pooped. So it wasn't a fight really, but he would sometimes sit in there for 45 minutes playing games until he pooped. I think having books to read helped reduce the anxiety for him, and it made it less of a battle. Also, some of those v-reader games are educational, so by the time he was 3.5, he was not only fully potty trained, but he had mastered the alphabet, too (thanks v-tech!).

I don't think you're being lazy, I think you're being realistic. When you have a kid who is newly potty trained, you have to be able to drop everything in a heartbeat to get the kid to the bathroom, and you have to help wipe him, etc. With a new baby, that's just hard. And as someone else said, boys are just different than girls... they take longer. They just don't seem to care whether or not they go in a diaper. They're just boys. So I say relax about it and he'll be potty trained sooner or later--at least before he starts kindergarten!
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April 4th, 2013, 09:53 AM
MeggysMommy's Avatar 3 + 1
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,202
We've started buckling down with potty training Megan. Finally last week she sits on the big potty with the attached seat. Over the last few days she was loving it but today I'm already seeing the struggle with her. This is probably the 4th separate time we've started doing this.
Cay wife to David mom to Megan 10/01/2010 and April 7/14/2013

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April 4th, 2013, 09:56 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
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When Jacob was born Jackson actually started doing better with potty training. He would see me changing Jacob's diaper and say that only baby's wore diapers and he was a big boy and didn't wear diapers. I would still put pull ups on him at night as he was still having accidents but he eventually got it.

I agree I wouldn't force it as that might do more damage than good. He'll get it when he's ready. I would just keep working with him and after baby is born just work with him when you have the time and energy.
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April 4th, 2013, 10:01 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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Location: Texas
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we're struggling with this right now b/c Savannah is completely capable of potty training but utterly resistant do doing so...ironically some of the parents of kids in her preschool class forcibly potty trained theirs about 6 months ago - and as a result they had a lot of accidents in class for months - and now she doesn't want to b/c she's afraid of having an accident.

When we discussed with our pedi at her 3 year apt, he really counseled against forcing kids early and said continue to encourage at least until 3 1/2 before getting concerned. As 3 1/2 is now rapidly approaching, and I want her fully trained before baby arrives so that stress doesn't set her back to much, I think we're close to trying a diaperless weekend and just deal with the inevitable accidents...i'm just loathe to force her if I can find a better way to get her to try.
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April 4th, 2013, 01:45 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
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Thanks for the input. I hate to make a big deal out of it, too, and I don't want him to have some negative association with pooping in the potty because I made it a power struggle. I hope DH can just be patient with him.

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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