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Mixed emotions (DD coming up soon)

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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June 21st, 2013, 03:05 PM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Oahu
Posts: 7,228
So, here I am, a few days over 36 weeks. After my two losses I couldn't imagine making this far. I guess I was scared to get my hopes up of actually having a healthy child come out of this. I'm still nervous of still birth, scares the crap out of me!
I was thinking last night about how mixed my emotions are. I am so excited that I could have this baby any time now (but know I'm one of those 40 weekers.) I think what it boils down to is that although I don't want to that I already have all these expectations for this baby. What if she doesn't measure up? (I know that sounds really odd to say, I mean, come on, she's a baby!) I'm sure I will love her more than ever, but I just have pre labor jitters I guess.
I know I'm still a little nervous about the birth part too. DH was gone for DD, so I have no idea what to expect out of him for this one. Also, when I had DD all the L&D rooms were full, so I had to wait 5-6 hours to finally get into one at 7cm. It's just so odd since we have wanted this child for over two years now and it's finally about to happen.
Anyone have any experiences they want to share?

Oct '11 June '12
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June 24th, 2013, 08:06 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,407
I'm so sorry that you are having pre labor jitters. I know once you hold that sweet baby in your arms she will meet all of your expectations. I think the most magical moments of my life is when I heard both of my boys cry for the first time. There is nothing like it in the world. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about.

Good luck. I can't wait to hear the good news of your little baby coming into this world.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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June 24th, 2013, 10:08 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,913
I had a hard time getting excited about Kody's birth, even going into the hospital. I guess I felt like, I'd believe it when I saw it! I was skeptical too about having a healthy baby after a loss. But he's here, he's beautiful and he was worth it. I hope everything goes great for you and your precious baby exceeds all your expectations!

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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June 25th, 2013, 11:51 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
I am sorry you are dealing with pre-labor jitters, but I don't think it is out of the ordinary for women that have had a loss to feel like that. You feel like something has already been taken away once and don't want to set yourself up for (for lack of a better word) disappointment.

None of us know what to expect from our DH's the first time, whether it is the first child or just the first time they are in the room with us. I know with my DH he really surprised me once things started going, he was awesome and I wasn't really sure what he would do, but he stepped up!

Once you have that baby girl in your arms, you will realize that it was all worth it and things couldn't be better!
4/2008 8/2011

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June 26th, 2013, 12:29 AM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Oahu
Posts: 7,228
Thanks ladies I know once I see her and hold her that all will fall into place. Even being term now I'm still so nervous something bad will happen to her.

Oct '11 June '12
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July 3rd, 2013, 08:41 AM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,498
(((Hugs))) Totally normal feelings hun!!! I had a lot of anxiety right at the end. I started feeling really guilty for some reason about Akadia not being the only one anymore and having to split my time up. I worried whether I could possibly love this baby as much as I already loved her sister and how was she going to fit in etc... I remember laying in bed with Akadia the night I went into labor and thinking how this could be my last night of it just being "us". And then the first few days home from the hospital, I cried because DH did the nighttime routine with Akadia since I was busy with baby. Made me so sad that I couldn't do everything. But now I can't imagine life without Cambria. She is my little princess and although mommy is stretched a little between a demanding 3 year old and a little 7 month old, I wouldn't have it any other way. There will be some adjusting at first, but it is sooo worth it. And the whole labor part will be over before you know it! Don't be discouraged if it doesn't all fall into place right away though. Post-pregnancy emotions can be all over the place and it took me a few weeks to settle down and start really bonding with Cam.

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July 3rd, 2013, 09:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,265
Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing Leanne78!!!

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