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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 1 Post By melissalaw
  • 1 Post By L-SBB
  • 3 Post By momof8lopez

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July 29th, 2013, 08:28 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
How many kids do you plan on having? Are you done having babies or do you think you will have more?

We wanted 3 kids and now with this one we are definitely done. I want to just enjoy my 3 kids and not have to go through the fear of another pregnancy.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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July 29th, 2013, 10:00 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
We want about 3 kids. At this point, we are just taking them one at a time.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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July 29th, 2013, 10:15 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,913
Originally I thought I only wanted two, meanwhile DH thought 3 or 4. After the m/c though I felt like I wanted 3. I have 3 children now, except one is in heaven. Somehow I thought having one more would make up for it? Not really, but if that makes sense...the fact that we already are a 3 kid family, but one is missing, I thought having one more would "fix" that.
Also I wanted to try for a girl. But because of all the complications during pregnancy and also the medical problems Kody has had, we are going to just stick to 2 kids. Which makes me sad because I'll never have a little girl like I always wanted. No pig tails, braids, makeup, bows or lace. I love my boys, but I feel like there are things that I can't pass on to them that I won't be able to share. Like knitting, quilting, bead work, baking, sewing, etc. Things boys would probably not be interested in.
So---2, but not by choice.

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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July 29th, 2013, 11:09 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Joy you may have a little girl in heaven that you will be with one day. I know how hard it is. I really want a girl also. i love my little boys but I also want a little girl to dress up and teach girly things to.
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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July 29th, 2013, 11:44 AM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 397
I always wanted 1, DH wants 2. I tell him we already have 1 in heaven, this will be number 2. I'll just wait and see what I feel like in 2-3 years!

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July 29th, 2013, 12:13 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
This one is hard to answer. I would be happy with 2 children on earth but I think DH's number is more around 3-4 (or more). We both want them to all be close in age but I feel like I have been pregnant the last 2 years and it's hard to imagine being pregnant for another 2 or 3 years.

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July 29th, 2013, 12:34 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
we're done with 2 after this little one is born...way back at the beginning of all of this, I wanted 3 but I honestly can't see doing this again - the worry with this pregnancy alone I think has taken years off my life. Weirdly after Savannah I thought about how sad it would be to be "done" and never pregnant again...now I can say (somewhat sadly) that the thought of never TTCing again or being pregnant again feels like a relief to me, like a weight lifting off my shoulders, which is about as clear a sign I think as I could ever want that our family is complete with our two little girls.
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Savannah Stylin!

Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
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July 29th, 2013, 03:47 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Done????? I was done SEVERAL times throughout my life, lol.....I really am done this time though, 8 is ENOUGH, lol. I was done after 3 boys, waited 3yrs, got the itch, and had my girl....WAY done......got divorced......got remarried........wanted one love child.....had 3 m/c's.......finally a rainbow baby.......DONE......one more (did not think it could happen)......one more.........poor timing on the natural part............one more.......IUD fell out........ONE MORE.........chickened out of tubal and had sex once PP! IM OLD, OLD, OLD,......or I would probably have them forever, lol. Tubes are getting done, no doubt!
melissalaw, EverydayJoy and Ame C like this.
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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July 29th, 2013, 04:16 PM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,913
Melissa...I can't help but think it is a girl in heaven. Seems kind of cruel, almost. Not that it would be any better if it were a boy. But then again, I haven't really accepted it as well as you have, so I see it as cruel whereas you could see it as something positive to look forward to. One positive is that my husband's father is in heaven...so Baby's grandpa is there to look after her.

Lara...isn't it sad that it's a relief for you? You have had SUCH a rough time of it...so many losses. TOO many. I'm happy you can have two now and feel like your family is complete, as complete as it's going to be anyway.

My goodness, Lori, that's a lot of "oopsie" babies! I'm glad you are surrounded by so many precious little ones!

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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July 29th, 2013, 04:48 PM
sandel07's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 407
Good Question.....
Well I tried like hell to get baby number 3....after my 6th loss I said I was done and that I would be happy with the 2 boys that I had. Then I became pregnant with lil Miss Ella. Initially I was totally freaked out and actually thought I cant do this, not now...once I accepted the fact that I was having baby number 3 I decided again I am DONE no more. Then after Ella was born I mean right after ( I was still in the hospital) I decided maybe I could do it one more time. I have decided that if it happens it happens....but I am not going to pursue medical assistance, 1 more loss and I am done and it has to happen this year...I'm old too so that is my deadline....I must have a Positive HPT between now and Dec 2013. If that doesn't happen I will have to get a tubal.

So 3 or 4 I will be happy, happy, happy.
Sandy-43 years young
BF-Ryan 38

Sons Noah 14 & Drew 16
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013

7 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012, Jan 2015)
No explanation for losses

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July 29th, 2013, 08:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,263
I'd always thought I'd have 4- but things haven't really gone according to any plan. And I'm older- so.. We're open and we'll see what the future has for us!

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July 29th, 2013, 11:42 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
Originally when I first started thinking about a family I was like 'Oh yeah 4 for sure!' then I thought 'Well Probably 3..' and now after having 1 I am not sure. Having the c-section was hard and Im not sure if I will have a VBAC or how my body will tolerate the next pregnancy. If all goes well there is a potential for number 3.. honestly DH just wants a son and I am hoping to give him one.

It'd be a blessing to have twins (although probably much harder then just saying it) and get it all out of the way in one more pregnancy. lol

I can't honestly see having more then 3 at the absolute most.

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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