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so so nervous :( (pregnancy mentioned)

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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September 16th, 2013, 11:54 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 372
I have a healthy 2yo and had an early loss in June. I am now pregnant again but am so so so nervous. Some days are better than others but today has been expecially bad anxiety-wise. I am 6w3d and my betas were OK and doubled (74 at 13dpo and 157 at 15dpo). My progesterone was a little low initially (10 at 13dpo) which my OB thought was fine but she called in supps for me because I was so nervous and I have been taking them since 14dpo. My progesterone went up to 17.8 at 15dpo.

I have some symptoms, was EXHAUSTED and could barely function from 4-6 weeks, although it has gotten a little better the past few days. I have thrown up 5x and gagged this AM. My boobs are the same and dont hurt at all, but I think my arms are a little more veiny. I have had some sporadic cramping and no spotting but the progesterone can keep you from bleeding.

I am going for my first appt with a new practice this week, either Wed or Fri (depends if I want to see the OB or midwife). I was originally told that I would def get a sono but then the person I spoke to today said it would be up to the dr. When I mentioned my previous mc and the fact that I have longer cycles (I am 6w3d per opks, would be 7w1d based on LMP) she said maybe that was why they mentioned a sono to me but that I could call the midwife tomorrow afternoon which I am going to.

But, I am just so nervous that something is going to go wrong again. And nervous that I wont get a sono. I hate being in limbo. I realize something can still go wrong later on, but this is consuming me. How do you get past the fear especially in the early weeks?
Married 5 years <3

#1: DS born 8.25.11 at 40w1d
#2: chemical pregnancy 6.26.13 at 4w3d
#3: miscarriage after heartbeat 9.20.13 at 7w (trisomy 14)
#4: chemical pregnancy 12.2.13 at 5w
#5: hoping this is my RAINBOW baby. EDD 10.17.14

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September 16th, 2013, 12:42 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm so sorry about your loss. Losses make pregnancy so much harder. My dr put my on progestrone also and it helped to reassure me.

I hope your dr goes ahead and give you a ultrasound just for your peace of mind. Please let us know how your appointment goes.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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September 16th, 2013, 02:23 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,734
I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to send hugs and sympathy!
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September 16th, 2013, 02:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Pregnancy after a loss can be so hard! I know it is easier said than done, but try to stay calm. Your numbers are promising and your symptoms are too, and remember, symptoms will come and go as your numbers increase and level out and increase again. My doctor had to remind me of this, because one day I would be feeling really terrible and the next I would feel great and freak out.

I hope they do an u/s for you! Keep us posted! And welcome to the board!
4/2008 8/2011

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September 16th, 2013, 03:17 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,249
For me all I can do is to remind myself to not try to stress because it doesn't help my growing baby, and that I'm doing the best I can to take care of us both. Congrats on your pregnancy and I hope your appt. goes well.

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September 16th, 2013, 05:42 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Maybe you can call and ask for them to do an ultrasound at your appointment? I hope they do one for you. I don't know any way to not worry, especially early on.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
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September 16th, 2013, 10:49 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
Welcome, wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months. I agree pregnancy after loss is tough. It does get better after the first trimester is over with, but I'm thinking the closer I get to the end, the more the paranoia creeps back in. I have had some emotional break downs here recently and some random freak-outs. I'm still trying to deal with my fears so it's hard to give advice to someone else experiencing the same thing. Just try to stay calm and relax as much as possible. Keep your mind busy by doing little projects or whatever you can do to keep that brain occupied. I really hope you get your sonogram. I'm thinking if your Dr said you are, then you are. A lot of the time the people who answer the phones have no idea what is scheduled in your file for your next appointment. Good luck sweetie, hang in there and let us know how it goes.

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September 17th, 2013, 06:07 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,263
I'm with Ame! If hey told you that you are. You likely will get that sono. And when you're in the room with the dr/ midwife, Request it! Remind then that they told you you'd get one!

As for the anxiety. Each day was a struggle for me. Now it's not EVERY day- but its still often enough. Try to just make it through today. Then tomorrow do the same. Lay down, take time to do stuff for you. And just let your light at the end of the tunnel be your next appt. buy yourself flowers and be in this moment. Today, you ARE pregnant.

Lots of hugs.

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September 17th, 2013, 10:44 AM
isawastar's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mousie, Kentucky
Posts: 940
Congratulations! I'm going to echo that you should remind them that you were told you'd get a sono, and if you don't get it request it. They should understand that you NEED to see and know what's going on in there!

It is VERY hard to not be filled with anxiety after loss, I know. I have an anxiety disorder, so with this pregnancy I have freaked out over things so easily! Still though, when my anxiety levels go up, regardless of the reason, I literally force my body to relax. Realize that getting tense isn't good for the baby, close my eyes, deep breathing, and just focus on the love for the little life inside that makes me happy. It might sound silly, but it helps me. After this became my longest pregnancy, I relaxed a lot because the doctor said, "Oh, this one is going to make it full term." I've still had some scares, during which I feel like I disconnect from myself a little to remain more calm. In general, though, it gets less scary with each successful week.

I hope it's the same for you, and that you get your sono to put your mind more at ease Good luck!
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