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DH took me shopping. Very Rough Time

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 4 Post By lelila

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January 26th, 2014, 10:10 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,235
Yesterday DH dragged me out of the house to Babies R Us. The goal was just to look at some of the big items that we will need before baby boy arrives, like a Car Seat. Can't take him home without one. He promised that we don't have to buy anything, just look.

So DS had a playdate with friends and we trudged off to the store. I made a bee-line to the restroom and when I got out DH is at the registry signing me up. I started to CRY. I sat there and sobbed while he finished up. Then we walked around and he zapped all the little things that we would need, while I cried. It was horrible. I know with only 9 or so weeks to go, we have to do this, but I found it SO hard.

Afterwards, I looked at the car seats with him and he showed me the ones that he likes and I had to agree that the one he picked out was better quality and easier to use. But I didn't even want to touch it. I felt like I was jinxing my entire pregnancy by being in the store, much less touching stuff. He showed me the breast pumps, strollers, pack n plays and cribs, quickly but we made no decisions. He will stop by during the next few weeks and pick up the chosen car seat.

We walked out of the store completely empty handed and completely exhausted. I don't want to go back but I know I will have to and I'm dreading it. Thank goodness for DH - he is solid and steady and remained calm and upbeat the whole time. He is even planning the shower with a good friend of mine.
Leia 42 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 41
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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January 26th, 2014, 11:55 AM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,594
Awwww I'm so sorry you are having a rough time with buying baby items, Leia. I hope some day soon you will be able to pick some things out easier and can be happy. (((Hugs))) I still think it's super cute how your DH likes picking things out.
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Chad & Lindsey~Furbabies Bella & Oliver
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January 26th, 2014, 12:46 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I am so sorry. It can be so hard to get things for baby when you are so scared.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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January 26th, 2014, 03:17 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,249
Hugs. I hope the next few weeks just fly by for you so you can bring your sweet baby home. That's great that DH is stepping up like that and also helping your friend with the shower. I know it's hard. I felt like I would be jinxing everything for about the first 24 weeks, and I just hit 28 weeks so it wasn't that long ago I started to let that go. The one thing I still held onto was picking out a name. For me that was the hardest part because I really felt once I decided on a name that would be it, if we lost her I would lose it mentally. Which I told myself I'd do anyway, so picking out the name wouldn't change anything. But it was hard for me to admit the name I really liked over the other 2 on my list. But yesterday DH and I decided that we have our name (which he's been calling her for about 2 weeks now anyway, it was just me who was afraid to say it as more than just a possibility). Sorry this got so rambling, but wanted to let you know it can be totally normal. Not easy, but normal. Lots of hugs.

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January 26th, 2014, 06:03 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,734
Oh, Leia, I'm sorry it was such a stressful experience. I completely, completely understand though. I'm feeling the same thing. I know I could tell you that logically, purchasing an item at a store has absolutely no bearing on the outcome of your pregnancy. But since I'm wearing your shoes (metaphorically) I know that really doesn't help. I'm grateful for your DH, that he is so strong, supportive, caring and confident.
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January 27th, 2014, 06:08 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,235
Thanks ladies! I know I'm being irrational and now that's it's a few days later, I'm feeling relieved that it's out of the way. DH and my good friend have planned the shower for 5 weeks from now and I'm feeling better about that too.

The BEST part - MIL is NOT planning it! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Leia 42 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 41
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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January 27th, 2014, 06:49 AM
EverydayJoy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,913
I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about it now. And lol about your MIL!

Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
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January 27th, 2014, 08:30 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
Leia I'm so sorry that it was so hard on you. I had a hard time going and registering but felt better once I did and then last weekend I went and picked up everything we needed for baby boy. I had been putting it off but felt so much better once I had what we needed.

I hope you get most of what you need at your shower and hopefully you fell ok to get what other little things you need. Sucks that this can't be fun for alot of us.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
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January 27th, 2014, 11:43 AM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
Sorry you had such a rough time. glad your DH was so supportive.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
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January 27th, 2014, 11:58 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,884
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Oh no!! I'm so so sorry honey. Big hugs to you.
I know how hard it is to do those things when you're worried and scared. How awful. I have a hard time too, but maybe it's easier because I don't believe in jinxing anything. I just in general worry about seeing it afterward and having to get rid of it, if something were to happen.

I'm glad you are feeling better that it's done. Even though it was really hard, at least your first step is done! Maybe it will get easier from now on.

We have been doing one thing at a time, each week. We got the travel system I wanted this last weekend. But, now I find myself looking at squished time, and feel a little pushed, because at this point, we absolutely NEED to get a few things. Only 20 days at the most left for us. I will feel SO much better after he is born and looking good and healthy.
Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (15), ds Marcus (13), Our together miracle, baby Dean, 17 months

Crazy enough to try all over again for a second together baby! Hoping for a much less wild ride this time!

TTC with PCOS for 5 very long years. Annovulatory cycles. Multiple doctors. Different meds. One horrible loss. And then one wonderful success, born 2/18/14.

I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
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