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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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  • 2 Post By MelChicago
  • 1 Post By Boos Moo
  • 1 Post By geogeek
  • 1 Post By Jessghetti

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March 11th, 2014, 05:57 AM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
So I woke up having a bad dream, DD stirred so I had to rock her back to sleep - then I started thinking over my dream and this pregnancy. I am so absolutely terrified of something going wrong - to the point where I couldn't fall back asleep and broke down in tears thinking of all the what-ifs.

I want this to be a happy healthy and successful 9 months. I want to do everything I can but I know there are some things that could be out of my control.

I am already high-risk as it is - I feel all I can do is improve my diet and maybe try to get light exercise like walking in.

I was sooo lucky with DD not having any complications other than her being breeched. But I just don't feel as hopeful with this one - I dreaded getting pregnant again for the longest time fearing this next time won't go as well.

Than I thought about all the things I could have done better when I was pregnant with DD and what I can do to change with this pregnancy. Honestly I don't even know is it is all going to go well since I haven't had a U/S to assure everything is in it's right place and the baby is growing correctly.

And maybe my memory is foggy but I honestly don't remember being as emotional when I was pregnant last either, I am either crying or really peeved at something. It seems like this pregnancy thing doesn't get any easier.

Other than snacking on fruits/veggies/nuts do you guys have any tips for being healthy during pregnancy?

Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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March 11th, 2014, 06:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 2,283
Glad you posted this. I'm going through kind of the same thing. I think it's because I'm getting more hormonal and my due date is getting closer. I get kinda crazy in my sleep when I'm stressed out or having anxiety. I walk and talk in my sleep, the past two nights have been pretty bad. I go to bed worrying about the worst, what if something happens to my baby, what if something terrible happens to my 3 year old daughter, what if something happens to my husband and I'm left alone to raise two children alone (go through delivering this baby alone!). What if something happens to me and my girls don't have me with them as they grow up!!! A little dramatic I know. We just have to trust that things are going to go well, we have to try not to think the worst even though sometimes it may seem IMPOSSIBLE! Just keep thinking happy thoughts! lol It's tough, especially after having a loss or more than one loss in the past. As for being healthy, ugh, that's a hard one for me. I am such a picky eater anyways - when pregnant it's so much worse. In the mornings I make a smoothie - frozen strawberries, a banana, plain vanilla yogurt and milk. Blend it all up and it's yummy. Lunch and dinner are what's hardest for me. I try to snack on fruit, I heard salmon is really good for you when pregnant (double check with your Dr.) not sure if you have a Schnucks market close to you but the one by me has the best salmon burgers in their seafood area. (it's not just plain salmon, I hate plain salmon, too fishy!) My husband will grill a couple for me and i'll take them in my lunch for work with some sides from the deli (veggie salad, pasta salad etc) Dinner is the hardest!!! I don't have any suggestions, I just eat what sounds good lol Sometimes that just ends up being a bowl of oatmeal lol
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March 11th, 2014, 07:58 AM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,734
Yes. Therapy. I have struggled with anxiety all my life, and I can't believe what a difference it's made to have some professional support.One thing that my therapist said, which I think of all the time, is that the scary, crazy thoughts are just thoughts. They are simply neurons firing. They do not MEAN anything. Thinking something does not make it happen. We cannot magick things into happening with our minds. (lol if we could I'd be a billionaire.)Don't be hesitant to tell your doctor about your anxiety, and to ask for help.
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March 11th, 2014, 11:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,263
Prior losses exacerbate anxiety. I was anxious the whole pregnancy. In fact the few weeks leading to my dd, I kept telling DH I didn't want to go to hospital. It's totally stupid! I was scared to go to hospital and have them tell me something was wrong. Then when it was time for the birth, I was so focused on labor that all the anxieties were gone. I surrendered I guess. I know I was lucky that everything went well. But the anxiety really kicked my butt. Check out a track called pregnancy affirmations from Welcome to Hypnobabies Retail Store I feel it helped me.

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March 11th, 2014, 02:09 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,249
Yes finding something to help control your anxiety will help keep you healthier, so I agree about talking to your doctor and/or seeing a therapist. Hugs.
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March 11th, 2014, 03:46 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
I hate bad dreams And it's so hard not to worry about everything during pregnancy. We completely understand your fears. I hope you're able to have a little peace of mind when you see your sweet baby bean at the first u/s. Do you know when they plan on doing that?

Healthy during pregnancy? Make sure you're eating foods with probiotics like yogurt, sauerkraut or pickles (a top pregnancy craving for many). Protein is important. Water. Keep a small snack in your purse, like a granola bar, in case you get to feeling light headed when your out.

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March 11th, 2014, 04:38 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I worry a lot during pregnancy.I try to have healthy snacks on hand. Carrot sticks, cut cucumbers, radishes, strawberries, you know little serving sizes to eat. I find that I eat them better if it is pre done (by me) where I can just grab a bag and some ranch.
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Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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March 11th, 2014, 07:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,325
I'm having trouble with this myself. I was really enjoying the security of the third trimester until this past week -- now I'm back to being an anxious basket case; and it doesn't help that baby has slowed her movement this week. As far as health goes, I really try to focus on fruits and veggies and I pay attention to what I drink. I find you can get so many useless calories in drinks like juices and pop-- I try to,stick to water and soda to reduce calorie intake each day. (Note I just said I try -- that doesn't mean I succeed!)

DD #1 born April 5, 2013; 9 lbs 11 oz
Baby # 2 due late July 2015.... Shhhhhh! Facebook doesn't know yet!
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March 11th, 2014, 10:28 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 554
Thanks for all the replies.. it really helps. I was having a very stressful morning but it got a bit better after DD woke up - she always brightens my day. My first u/s is scheduled on April 2nd, I will be 9 1/2 weeks - which is weird since with DD I had u/s at 5wk6days, 8wk,12wk,20wk and 28wk - along with a few checks around the end of the 3rd trimester.. so LOTS of u/s - got to see her grow from a tiny little fetal pole. I am unfortunately not a fan of fish.. I like tuna fish but that's about it. Salmon is.. eh.. better then white-fish but still kind of bleh. I dislike sauerkraut and pickles are ok. Good thing is I like eating fruits/veggies and even am OK with vegetarian/vegan options in place of meat (though I am not a vegetarian or vegan myself). Lately it's just been hard because I haven't really been craving anything and nothing tastes particularly good except chocolate. Im planning on going to the store tomorrow to stock up on some fruits/veggies and nuts.. I heard almonds were really good during pregnancy??
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Missing Angels: Sept '11 - 4 weeks & Nov '11 - 4 weeks 3 days
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