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Anyone have smokers in the family?

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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April 8th, 2014, 08:22 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,235
What do you do about smokers in the family? DH has one Aunt that absolutely ADORES DS1 and the new baby. She came to the shower and her gift was saturated with cigarette smoke and had to be washed several times. She keeps asking to come and spend time with me and the baby and I keep putting her off because her clothes and person smell like smoke and I don't want my baby exposed to all that second hand smoke.

What do I do? I really do like her alot, but I don't want to risk my baby's health. I'm so torn.
Leia 42 yrs young

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April 8th, 2014, 12:03 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,409
This is a huge argument between me and my mother. My mother smokes and I absolutely hate it. it is so nasty and I refuse to let my baby smell like smoke. I just told her that when she holds my baby if she has been smoking then my baby smells like smoke and breathes in third hand smoke. So I make her not smoke and put on clean clothes right before she comes over. She gets angry at me but I have to do what is best for my kids and they don't need to be smelling that crap.

I would just be honest and let her know that you have a problem with her smoking and you don't want your baby to breathe in any smoke. their little lungs are so sensitive at this age that they just don't need to breathe that in. Hopefully she will understand.My mother has never understood but she does follow my wishes and tries not to come over smelling like a bar. I have also had to wash things lots that she give my kids. I guess she just can't smell it.

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April 9th, 2014, 04:15 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,249
My brother smokes, but luckily he never smells like an ashtray. But when he gives us stuff that has been in his apartment awhile it does need some airing out or washing to get rid of the smoke smell. He gave me all my younger brothers paperwork (will, army papers, etc) and they stink like smoke so bad. I agree, smokers don't realize that they or their things smell like smoke because they are just used to it. Can you arrange a short visit and let her know you don't allow smoking, and do you have an air purifier you can use while she's there? I agree that's a tough one because you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you don't want baby around the smell.

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April 9th, 2014, 05:31 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
That's tough. Not sure what I'd do. Maybe just mentioning that you'd rather not have your baby around the smoke smell. hopefully she'll understand.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
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April 15th, 2014, 02:19 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,513
I personally would have DH talk to her. Tell her you love when she visits and the kids do too, however, you are concerned with 2nd hand smoke and asthma related issues with the kids.

My dad and stepmother are heavy smokers, whenever they give us anything, I leave it outside for a few days and then wash it several times just to get the smell out...blech!
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April 15th, 2014, 06:03 PM
JackieV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,741
My mom her boyfriend and my brother all smoke. So when we go to her house I'm always worried. Surprisingly they keep it pretty smoke free in the most of the house. Even when she brings things over to my house, I hardly notice the smell. I appreciate she works hard to keep the cigarette smoke to themselves!
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