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Really need to vent, its long

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 10th, 2006, 09:42 PM
tabitwhe's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Southern Louisiana
Posts: 944
I dont know if its me him or both of us. For the last few weeks things have gotten really stressfull between us. When I found out I was pg with Alex we were seperated. I told him about 3 weeks after I found out and he asked if he could come home (he left on his own). He took good care of me, I was sick 24/7 and had the most terrible headaches you can imagine. When we lost Alex he was right there, it brought us closer than we had been in years. I had about 3 weeks I was not "feeling pg" and considering in a good mood. He told me a few weeks ago I was acting like I did when I was pg with Alex but we didnt know it yet and he knew that now. When I feel bad I dont talk. So he automatically thinks something is wrong with us. Last week he started being mean. calling me names and saying hurtful things to me. For awhile he was helping me with the house and kids but now he does nothing except cook a few times a week but instead of doing it at 6 he waits till 8 when the kids should be getting in bed. I dont know what to do. I am so stressed over this. I am not working anymore so I cant take care of myself and the girls without him but when im miserable i make the kids miserable. And they notice something is wrong. We (me and the girls) lived with my mom year befor last for me to go to school for a year. He never even came to visit. When we moved back in with him, they told me I was happier and more fun when we lived with maw maw. how am I suppose to take that. im sorry it so long. I am tired of crying over this. I know its not good for me or the baby. i dont know what to do.
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October 11th, 2006, 01:41 AM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,063
I'm not very good with relationships, so keep that in mind... but maybe you both are still dealing with the grief? Maybe a break, going back to Mom's, or even just taking more time for yourself could help.. or suggest counseling? If that is something you would both be willing to do, I bet it would help.

I'm sorry I don't have much to offer, the whole first 2/3 of my pregnancy was trying to decide if I should stay with the father or not. I know how stressful that is, and how you get so sick of all the tears that fall over it. I wish I could be more help.
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October 11th, 2006, 07:55 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
I'm not good with relationship advice, so here are some hugs instead.

Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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October 11th, 2006, 04:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
Any chance you can get him alone for some serious talk?

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I could not imagine.
I hope you can find help, maybe through church or counseling.

Prayers and blessings to you.
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October 12th, 2006, 11:06 AM
margo1973's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,783
Sorry you are going through this right now. I just wanted to give you some HUGS!

Try talking to your DH. That's really the only advice I can think to give.

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October 16th, 2006, 08:00 AM
nmbatey's Avatar Regular
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 76
I'm so sorry you are going through this right now and adding stress on top of all you are feeling. I would try seeking counseling either with him or without him. You need to concentrate on yourself for your own sake and peace of mind as well as you health and that of the baby's.

What does your family think about all of this? Are they supportive of you?
DH - Josh
DS - Tyler - 15yrs

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