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The "good" I would have never thought of...

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 26th, 2006, 07:02 PM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,063
I have to share this, only you girls would understand...

I don't know what you'd call it - "the good side" seems wrong, but I've noticed a bit of a different attitude in myself.

Now that a lot of the girls have had their babies, everyone is talking about the common post preggo things - streatch marks, weight loss, mushy bellies.... and I just don't care about any of it. I have a beautiful little girl and she's healthy.

I have purple and red stripes all over my belly - my belly that still looks 6 months preggo.
I have no idea what I weigh, told my doctor I don't care and don't want to know.
My guts seem to be made of jello.
I'm a typical "post baby" reck, and I don't care!!! I look at her and I would give up 3,000 times what being pregnant has "done" to my body to have her.
I see this as a good thing. I'm not stressed, sure most things will fall back into place with time. I'm just not all that conserned about it. After the years of hurt and pain and empty arms... these things just don't matter to me.

So maybe I couldn't share the carefree joy of pregnancy with most, but I get to skip the worry-wort "will I ever be the same again" part of it.
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October 26th, 2006, 08:35 PM
christina7777's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New Orleans, LA
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I am so happy for you. You have brought tears to my eyes. I was just posting about having a negative attitutude after my m/c and you have so put things into perspective! I wish all the happiness with your beautiful baby girl. Take Care.
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October 26th, 2006, 09:09 PM
srs srs is offline
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That sounds like a great thing to look forward to...

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October 27th, 2006, 03:13 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Montana
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Same here. I have been telling DH this all along. It seems strange to see others posting about all that stuff, even though I totally understand it. I just don't care. I have what I wanted, and that mushy belly happens to be proof of that, part of that, and I would do it all over times an infinite amount to have him again. I feel a bit guilty that I can't participate in some of the PP stuff. Women come up to me and ask, conspiratorially, "Aren't you glad that breastfeeding takes off the belly faster?" "Good thing the stretch marks lighten, huh?" and say, "It takes 9 months to put it on, count on at least that much to take it off." I don't care. I will eat healthfully and be as active as I can, but my main priority isn't fitting into pre-pregnancy clothing or being able to show off a naked belly...ever. Hehe. My husband is even great about it. I think that I apologized half-heartedly about my stretch marks. His reply: "They're like his footprints on the outside...I'll be sad if they go."

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October 27th, 2006, 08:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
Good for you. That is really sweet and I am glad you can put that kind of perspective on your little miracle.

As I sit here SO sick and shaky and unable to do anything, I know that this is all for the best and if I have to go through this for the miracle God has blessed me with, then I will get through it.

You can care about the mom gut when you put the baby in preschool and have some extra time to spare. And if you don't want to, then just buy bigger pants. lol
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October 27th, 2006, 09:00 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
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That's a great perspective.
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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October 27th, 2006, 10:05 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I was upset about my mushy belly and stretchmarks last time...you know...when I didn't have a baby to bring hom and that's all that I had.

But your perspective is beautiful. If I get to bring this one home, I don't care what happens to my body!
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 28th, 2006, 07:19 AM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,063
Oh I pray for all you girls. I can't wait until you are all not worried about your body with me!!! This 2 weeks has been the first 2 weeks in 6 years I have felt I can really breath. I want to get an angel for Ella's room to be from her sibling.
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