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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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December 5th, 2007, 09:29 PM
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Okay so this is the second topic I have started today. Sorry if I am "overdrafting" but I am sooooooo mad and I need to vent before I send her a really nasty e-mail.
My father in law's family lives in Illinois. I have met some of them already but the rest are really looking forward to meeting me. We were supposed to go up there for Thanksgiving last year (with DH's mom, dad, and sister) but my MIL's mom had an accident and needed to be looked after. So, a few weeks ago, my MIL mentioned to my husband (Adam) that they were going up the week before Christmas. We assumed we were invited since we had been invited to go with them for Thanksgiving and he IS their son. They have a van that we would all easily fit in (this point will be important later on in the story) to travel there in since they don't normally fly. After that we didn't hear anything else about it. FIL was over the other day and I asked him "so are you going to Illinois?" and he said on the 14th. Adam said he would request that time off from work, and I said "Are we even invited?!?" He didn't say anything, kinda acted like he didn't hear me. So after that I got the hint that we were indeed NOT invited.
MIL's told the relatives and not to us, since it was NEVER discussed with us: we can't make it because we don't have a reliable car to go in. Remember that van I was talking about? It seats 8 people. I found this out from his cousin just an hour or so ago. First of all, how does she know how reliable my car is?!?! Second, why on EARTH would we take our own car when all of us can EASILY fit in a van?
This is not the first thing she has done. A few weeks ago DH called over to the house and was talking to his dad about coming over. Something about cooking steaks out on the grill got mentioned and his nosy ##### mother overheard and said we had to bring our own. Okaaaaaaaay....well, we ended up not going over there.
Last October his parents invited us to go on a cruise to Alaska. This was to be in June of this year. Well, time went by and as it got closer to June, we somehow got uninvited, again, with it NEVER being discussed with us.
This woman is very close to never being able to see her first grandchild. She treats her son like a second class citizen. My parents treat him like they are his own and I feel so sorry for him. I'm not sure if he really even cares that his mom is such a b*tch to him, but I have never met a person who treats their own child like this. Much less who has the audacity to be so RUDE to family.
Well, this post was supposed to calm me down but it really only made me madder....
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December 5th, 2007, 11:00 PM
tiffani76541's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Killeen, Tx
Posts: 1,004
OMG.. That is so screwed up!You'd think everyone would want to see and congratulate you guys.What a witch!Why invite someone if they're just gonna go back on it later!I can't believe that...
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December 5th, 2007, 11:30 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
((Hugs)) i would be venting too!

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December 6th, 2007, 06:40 AM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
HUGE I also have a really mean step mother in-law and I could feel your pain through that entire email. I still haven't figured out how to deal with her over the past seven years so I really don't have any advice I just wanted to tell you that I can totally relate. At least DH hates her too and we always make fun of her together after she leaves but still - she is unbelievable sometimes!!! Hang in there and try not to let her ruin yoru Christmas. It's about your DH and your new baby - not her!
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the beautiful siggy
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December 6th, 2007, 09:38 AM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,610
I agree with Sabina. Don't let this affect you too much. You probably wouldn't have too much fun stuck in a van with her for hours and hours anyways, so just count it as a blessing!


Baby and little girls' leg warmers: http://www.etsy.com/shop/SassyStitchesStacey

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December 6th, 2007, 11:45 AM
Posts: n/a
Thanks ladies. I'm glad I'm not just seeing this from a crazy point of view and that others really do agree with me. I ended up e-mailing her right after I posted that. I essentially just called her out on all of the stuff she has done that has been really messed up. I am really proud that I didn't cuss her out or say anything immature. I usually get like that when I'm really pissed. Still, it's going to piss her off and then she's going to act all nice to try to make me feel bad. She always does that anytime she knows she has upset me. Too bad!!!!! I'm going to go spend Christmas with MY family (who really acts like a family). Really, it was already decided before all this happened because last year I had to work and didn't get to do Christmas with my folks until New Year's. I wish they lived closer
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