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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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December 26th, 2007, 09:52 PM
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Today is the due date of my first baby who I lost in June. I was fine with it until last night. At first I thought I was just disappointed because Christmas is over and I really don't have a lot to look forward to for a while and then I realized why I am really sad. I thought that since I'm pregnant that I wouldn't have to deal with any grief over my lost baby but I was wrong and I almost feel some resentment for the baby that I'm carrying now. I love her so much, don't get me wrong, but I feel like she is in the wrong place at the wrong time. And feeling those feelings is making me feel even worse. I feel like nobody remembers I should be 9 months pregnant and possibly in the hospital having my baby. My husband didn't even remember. I feel so alone dealing with this.
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December 26th, 2007, 09:59 PM
Doodle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Orlando-ish Florida
Posts: 10,919
:hugs: You are not alone.

I have trouble every year. My best friends son was born on the due date of my 1st loss. I look at him every year and wonder. His birth was very hard for me even though I too was pregnant at the time.
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Erin, Mama to 6 little birds

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December 27th, 2007, 12:15 AM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
You certainly aren't alone in this hun. When I reached my EDD for my 2nd angel, while I was pregnant with Gaby, I felt REALLY strange. I felt.. not 'angry', but just sad I guess, that my 2nd angel wasn't with me, but Gaby was... I think it's all a natural part of grieving, and it doesn't make ANY of us a bad person!

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December 27th, 2007, 07:02 AM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
I think we all have these feelings at one point or another. Over the holidays we saw DH's cousin that was pg the same time as I was with Hannah. We had the same due date. It was so hard to hold her baby at four months and think "we should be holding our own baby" I actually had someone say to me when I talking about missing Hannah "You should be thankful for what you have been given" I am very thankful for the baby I have now however it doesn't make losing my baby hurt any less. I think unless you are in the situation it is hard to understand. I hope you know that you are not alone. We are all here for you.
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the beautiful siggy
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December 28th, 2007, 06:16 PM
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nice to know at least 3 people give a #####.
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December 29th, 2007, 01:59 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
Posts: 7,100
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Hey girl....you are not alone. I've been feeling a bit blue myself. Just can't get it out of my mind that I should be celebrating the 1st b-day of my baby instead of pg with #2. We weren't really planning on having more so it feels a little strange to be making all these plans for this baby when the thought of Annika lingers in my mind.
I know we didn't decide to have this baby to replace her but I still get that weird feeling that we wouldn't be having her if we hadn't lost Annika.

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