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Ladies, I have a little advice.. hope you don't mind!

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 4th, 2008, 03:03 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
Hmmmmm I just wrote a big post, but i'm scared it may have upset people.... so i'll try summarise what i was saying!

Basically this is leading on from the post about the sound & movement monitor.

My nephew died of SIDS, so when Gab arrived I was really paranoid about Gaby dying of SIDS - or any other means. Losing Brodie, I guess I realised that bad things do happen to good people. Which scared me!

I bought a few different products to help reduce the risk of SIDS & other things which could cause infant death. So many people told me I was paranoid, had an overactive imagination, had mental problems (! ha!), or they'd just give me a look as if to say "oh dear... this girl needs help".

It upset me when I got those reactions, but you know what - I'm GLAD that I did what I had to do, to give myself some reassurance, no matter how outrageous it seemed to other people

I guess what I'm trying to say, is do what you feel you have to do, purchase the products you feel you need to, to make your life with baby as relaxed as possible, to reduce your anxiety levels, to give you some reassurance etc etc etc... If someone tells you you're a flaming idiot for buying such & such, for doing this & that - just remember that it's YOUR baby, it's YOUR life - and they have absolutely no idea what you're feeling, or the effect those feelings are having on you.

For me I NEEDED the sound & movement monitor, so that I wouldn't wind up with a breakdown of some sort. My anxiety levels for the first 10 days (? i think) of her life increased daily, and I barely slept at all, because i kept getting up to check her breathing... And obviously no sleep for a new Mum is a bad bad thing!!!!!!

I probalby could have summed it all up easier by saying TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS - DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!

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February 4th, 2008, 03:08 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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I think many of us needed to hear that !!!!
Thank you !!!!!

I agree with you 100% !!!!!!

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February 4th, 2008, 03:10 PM
kalis's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: IL
Posts: 6,523
thank you!
i'm sure that is right- we need to do what makes us comfortable.
Thanks to *Kiliki* for my pretty siggy!
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February 4th, 2008, 03:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,567
I agree 100%!!!
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February 4th, 2008, 07:48 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,014
yea i def. agree i know i have some in-laws that would give me trouble

Thanks Claire for my awesome siggy!!

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February 5th, 2008, 06:10 AM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
Thanks for the great advice Emma. I totally agree and will be doing whatever I need to in order to get through this with as much ease as possible. I know I got a few nasty comments when I bought my doppler but I just ignored them. It helped me get through it so it was worth it.
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the beautiful siggy
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February 5th, 2008, 10:30 AM
Hoping's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,977
awesome advice! Thank you.

Our Two Miracles!
Alexis Jade 5/28/08 and Evan Russell 6/28/10
Always Remembering our 3 angels in heaven
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