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Did you receive any counselling???

Cesarean Section Grief

A board for members whose cesarean section experience was not a positive one.

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April 10th, 2010, 03:22 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
Just wondering if any of you received counselling, to discuss & come to terms with your c/s grief?

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April 10th, 2010, 09:45 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
I tried twice. The first counselor was affiliated with my MILs church. She told me suffering in CB is Gods plan for women and I should seek understanding and acceptance in the Bible. The second one was very insistent that I had misplaced PPD bc csections "really aren't a big deal"

I stopped trying at that point. But I really wish now I had kept trying until I found someone supportive who could have helped me.

My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/
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April 11th, 2010, 06:13 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
I didn't get counseling. The first person in the medical field to acknowledge that it was a horrible thing and that they were sorry that I had not been able to see Katie being born was the FNP in NC that I saw last week. The medical people in IN seemed to think that I should focus on the fact that both of us lived given what occurred. I am overjoyed that I am alive and that Katie is a healthy, happy baby, but I would feel a whole lot better if someone in IN had said, "I am sorry that you didn't get to see her born. I know that was important to you."

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April 11th, 2010, 10:07 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
I am sorry you two. That is awful.

I talked a lot, but not to a counselor. I can not count the number of emails that flew between myself and my midwife - myself and my Bradley coach. My husband listened and reassured and loved me and knew what a big stinkin deal it was - as much as any man can. I am blessed with such a caring DH. But I needed that reassurance from my friends in the natural birth community. I needed them to say I was strong, and I did everything I could, and that they understood the trauma that the hospital put us through and that it was wrong. That I was not a failure. That I was a good mom who did everything under the sun to give her baby the best start possible.

They did all that and more. It makes me weepy how good they were to me - how patient and gentle and understanding. How they knew what to say even though they had never have Cesareans themselves. The emails continued for months - back and forth - whenever I had an emotionally bad day. It is thanks to them that I am in the better place I am now. Yes, the way the hospital treated us was unforgivable and wrong, but I don't dwell on it and I know all I can do is look to future births. Hopefully they will be VBACs, but even if they're Cesareans, they will be so different. I will make sure of that.

And ICAN is a whole different kind of therapy. There is something so healing to be in a room with those women. Whenever a mother tells her birth story and everyone else is nodding along. They know that feeling. They heard those words. They felt that fear/disappointment/grief. It is the constant, enveloping, reminder that you are not alone. You are not a weirdo for not being one of the shiny, happy c-section mommies who thinks they're great.

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April 12th, 2010, 08:44 AM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,765
I haven't gotten counseling but starting to wonder if I should. I had a recent trigger and I find a couple of times I've actually gotten really shaky and upset stomach when something triggers the memory of the labor and c/s (both were traumatic). Although I don't know, I'm so independent and I don't know what a counselor will be able to do for me. I can talk until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't change what happened. I read through a lot of birth trauma boards this weekend and that was healing, because it validated that I felt what I felt and am not the lone exception.

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April 15th, 2010, 09:55 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NE MS
Posts: 9,524
No i did not get any counseling but I did come here frequently and posted about my feelings and anger and hurt.
I also called my ob gyn and was put on lexapro and it has helped (along with time)

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