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i wish...ramblings

Cesarean Section Grief

A board for members whose cesarean section experience was not a positive one.

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May 7th, 2011, 11:29 PM
~*3 little bears*~'s Avatar Jack~Mack~Brooke~Baby
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 5,665
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I wish that I could be like the ten friends I have that did zero research on birth choices and eneded up with perfect vaginal births. Or better yet I wish I could be happy for them instead of bitter and jealous and wonder why they deserved to have something I want so badly and did everything to attain while they got it without even realizing how important it is. Sometimes I wish I was uneducated about c/s vs natural birth or about the fact that so many sections are totally unnecessary so that I could be content with my sections like so many others. I wish that sections weren't considered safer than vbacs because of legal reasons instead of actual research. I wish that others could be sympathetic and understanding of the pains that come with sections and that the grief is real and our feelings could be validated instead of brushed off and treated as unreasonable. And I wish that I could go back in time and refuse the induction with my first and not move in my 39th week with my second so she would not have flipped breech. I wish that the feelings from my sections wouldn't permeated into this pregnancy and that in the back of my mind wasn't the doubt that I will ever have a normal birth.

Last edited by ~*3 little bears*~; May 7th, 2011 at 11:34 PM.
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May 9th, 2011, 10:50 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
I wish all of those things too. I have one to add:

I wish that no woman ever felt forced to have a RCS.

My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/
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May 24th, 2011, 09:38 PM
MauMama's Avatar formerly La_Sirena
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 317
Hugs. I feel that way about people who get to birth their babies and have perfectly healthy babies. And healthy babies who grow up into healthy kids.

Right now I wish I didn't have the increased risks of all the post-c-section uterus and recurrent miscarriage to contend with, should life ever settle down enough for us to have another child.

Jen + Matt
Parents to Sophie, the Wondergirl
Asperger's Syndrome
Joint Hypermobility
GERD & Constipation

Angels Autum & Isla (2007)
+ 7 others (2002 - 2011)

Mama with arthritis & connective tissue disorder called TRaPS
I've been charting since Jan 16, 2001 and TTA since April 2007.
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May 24th, 2011, 10:23 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
I wish I could just pick an OB I liked instead of having to interview a million of them, worrying they will pull a bait and switch and find any reason to cut me at 39 weeks.

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June 23rd, 2011, 08:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
I wish I didn't have the back pain still, but I would go through all the pain again to have my darling Katie. She is going to remain an only child, but I love her with all my heart.

Last edited by MomtoKatieB; June 23rd, 2011 at 08:45 PM.
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August 3rd, 2011, 07:24 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,972
I just read your post and I honestly could have written it.

I completely feel the same way, and I would stress that I wish people (including my bf) understood how I felt. Right now, I feel like there is only one person who truly understands how I feel and she is the only person I can talk to.


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August 9th, 2011, 09:34 AM
Celine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,242
I just wanted to give you all
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March 5th, 2012, 02:20 PM
georgiabrit's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canton, GA
Posts: 516
I wish doctors weren't so "keen" on the c-section route. I wish they would leave our bodies, and our babies alone unless there was some REAL medical reason to get involved.

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June 27th, 2012, 07:09 PM
Twirlbird's Avatar Mia and Henry's Mama
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Stratford, PEI
Posts: 1,200
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I wish that people would stop saying you should be happy that you have a healthy baby... OF F'ING course I wanted my baby as healthy as possible. But what about me? Do my feelings not matter. Yes if the choice came down to section or baby death I would chose that, but I KNOW thats not why I got my section. I wish I could go back and decline induction, labour longer before giving up!
Miss B: September 3rd, 2008(stepdaughter)
Amelia Rose Annabelle aka Mia: December 1st, 2011
John Henry Clifton aka Henry: April 11th 2013
Elizabeth Flora Ruth: March 6th, 2015
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August 20th, 2013, 03:31 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 397
I just wish I had my son in my arms.

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