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What's wrong with my nephew?

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June 8th, 2012, 10:15 PM
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3
Well my sister had her first son t 13. She had gotten kicked out at 17 that was really the last I saw of her family really. She married some guy when she was younger. She had another son. She got hooked on drugs and my older sister would try to help. They both had issues. She does drugs and so does her husband... My other sister is in a domestic violent relationship she's blind to. I kind of was estranged all this time and I got married made my own family soon to be now... Anyway well things fell over the top with my sister and well I guess I decided I would help her son since he has no place to go besides foster care. Her other son is now an adult. I've tried to be supportive. Thing is I don't know what to do about this. We've had her son 6 months. He's a teen so h has a lot of freedom. He's not that bad of a kid it doesn't seem he just has issues he's working out. His older brother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder he's addicted to drugs he's a teen dad and hs long history of prostitution which was started by their parents plus longlasting physical abuse from his stepdad. He was forced to sell himself for them to get drugs eventually which led him to do drugs himself and create his own cycle... He's 18. And I just don't have a clue where he'll be in 10 years if he keeps it up... My younger nephew has issues but not as serious. I think he may be bullimic (he pukes a lot) But he says he's sick but he doesn't do it all the time along with the fact that he rarely says anything and keeps to himself like he's scared or something he also has gender identity issues but those are normal I think because on my sister's side of the family pais is a genetic disorder we carry in the family anyway. There's nothing that he has said or is fact he was at all physically or sexually abused but he was abandoned and his parents were neglectful reason why he was removed. Could this be the reason he is this way? I mean that he wants so badly for his brother to care about him? Well his brother stayed the first two months I had noticed on two occasions there was noise in a room the door would be locked and I'd knock and they'd go all silent and act like they had something to hide but were suspicious acting... So I am cleaning the attic last weekend and found a book hidden. Realized it's a book he writes in at times. Now he wrote a lot of things and some the like school friends dating new life here but then there were parts about like an incestuous relationship with him and his brother but he didn't even say it there just that he would do anything to please him that's what he does all day is try to please him. Their relationship is just like that where his brother is so harsh to him and like he hates him but he's so complacent like he has to be with him always I thought it meant they were close now I really don't know what to think. When I asked him about this he denied it at first then said yeah he would that he loves his brother that it didn't matter what he'd do but his brother never let him. He goes to his place all the time I don't feel comfortable with it though but I mean they re both in therapy he's not been abused right? So I can't really get in the way of this can I? Btw I've been signed over temporary custody with him... But I feel like something's there. They're so closely connected I don't want him influenced badly by him but he gets worst I can see it when he's not around... Just can't do anything about what I can't prove.
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June 8th, 2012, 11:35 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
Posts: 23,407
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Wow! It sounds like you are in a really tough spot. I think your nephew's issues are probably for a large part due to the way he has been raised so far. The best advice that I have for you is to let him know that you love him. Keep him in counseling, let him know you are there if he needs to talk, and encourage him to keep a journal (writing in a journal is a wonderful way to express his feelings.)

Most importantly, just remind him every day that you love him. It takes time to realize things have changed and that you are in a safe place. Abuse and/or neglect can take a very long time to get past. Be patient, and things will turn around.

You said that both of the boys are in therapy, but I would suggest that you see someone too. The things that you are dealing with are very difficult, and having someone you can trust to talk to will help you to determine the best decisions for your nephew. I also suggest finding a home church if you don't have one already. Again, finding a trusted minister, or church member to talk to could be extremely beneficial for you, I think.

I wish I had more advice for you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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