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yaaaay im the first to post!! but not surpised LMAO

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May 11th, 2010, 07:28 PM
Possibly Pregnant
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 254
Hey again,
So i went through facebook today and saw some old classmates....most of them have KIDS or MARRIED.....
I feel so left out....
and so jealous....
and feeling devious LMAO
Im just so depressed, I almost feel like i will never have kids at the rate im at right now.
My SO asks me everyday whats wrong, but he should know how im feeling but i just cant get myself to say anything. I have nothing against my SO, he didnt do anything wrong. its just the timing of everything has messed our plans.
I just dont feel like an adult. and i dont want to have a kid just to feel like one. I want a baby because i want to raise a child, hearing the pitter patter through the house.
Hes in the military but not active, hes reserve. But part of me wants him to go active so it would make things so much simpler. But i dont want him to leave for months...i want to go with him...but he doesnt want to do that. He agrees it would make things sooo much easier but doesnt want to do it bc of being away and then possibly pulling me from my family and work. But to me, you have to make sacrifices to make your life easier...
Im just so jealous of everyone that i cant be happy for what i have. and i am greatful for the things i have now but i cant help but feel sad
but anyways, just wanted to try out this new venting subforum and get some things off my chest
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May 11th, 2010, 07:39 PM
LadyRogue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Richmond Dale, OH
Posts: 1,590
Yay! Not yay that you are going through all of these emotions...but Yay that you let it loose.

I think we all feel like you are at one time or another. I'm lucky in that DH wants a baby too. But we are both just going with the flow of TTC right now. I admit that yes, I too get frustrated when I think I could be...then AF comes in the door. I feel ya hon. Hang in there! We're all here for ya, anytime you need to vent.
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May 12th, 2010, 11:03 PM
Possibly Pregnant
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 254
thanks i know i shouldnt compare my life to others but its just so hard. and now, whats harder...the military will ONLY pay for the classes pertaining to the degree. and he will not get the full benefits if its less than 12 units... which there is only a few classes so... ughhh
i would so like him to go active to make our lives easier LOL i am thankful for what i have right now but i would love so much more.
I dont want to tell my SO how depressed im feeling...he already feels bad that he cant do things for us right now...i dont want him to feel even lower...but in the same sense i want him to know how i feel.
Man do i want a baby....
and how is it the people who arent ready for kids or its not the right time for them...why does it end up working out? I know it would work for us but i dont think my SO is really thinking of how perfect it would work out.
(i almost cried while writing this )
having kids is an emotional topic for me, and im very sensitive about it. So its like i will feel very depressed talking about how i do not have kids.
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May 14th, 2010, 09:46 PM
LadyRogue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Richmond Dale, OH
Posts: 1,590
Everything in life that happens, happens for a reason. I know that probably doesn't help the way you are feeling right now, but it's something I firmly believe in. Things tend to work out because, well, are we ever truly "ready" for anything? Especially babies. Things will happen when they are meant to, Honey. Right now you probably don't understand why things are going the way they are, but give it a year or two and when you look back, you'll be like "Ok, NOW I see why things happened the way they did!" It's happened to me just like that so many times over the years that now I just sit back and wait to see how things will play out. Then I'll be like, "Yep, THAT's why that happened..to get me to the NOW."
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