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July 26th, 2011, 10:59 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 3
I'm new here! Actually, I'm new to message boards in general, but I find myself in such a bizarre and frustrating situation that I'm just feeling lost at the moment and I've got no one to really talk to about it. I saw the AIP Venting board and thought "perfect". I think that's all I can do now is just vent. My SO michael and I have been trying to conceive for a year now. We're older - both 39, soon to be the big 40. Neither of us have children. We've been friends since grade school and found each other again three years ago (courtesy of Facebook!) Time is precious now.

My cycles are like clockwork - they have been since my first cycle at age 11. I've never been off by more than a day or 2 and I've never missed a period. Until this one. I'll be three weeks late tomorrow. I was so excited to finally miss one that i thought this must be it! But after 6 BFNs and a negative blood test (a little over a week ago), I'm left to assume I'm not pregnant. So what happened??? I'm not stressed. I'm not perimenopausal according to my lab work - actually, I'm pretty good for my age

I've had some odd symptoms for the last three or four weeks that michael swears are pregnancy symptoms. I've had really bad heartburn - i've never had it before. Unexplained lower back pain - i didn't do anything to cause my back to hurt. Strange looking boobs! The areolas look like giant dinner plates! They've never looked like that before. On two separate occasions (a Saturday and a Monday) about a week and a half ago, i had a singular episode of very pale brownish pink spotting. I hesitate to call it spotting because it was so light and i saw it only once when i wiped after peeing. it wasn't on my underwear or in the toilet, just the tissue. It was only the one time each day. And that was it! It's also important to note that I don't spot to begin with - never have. I've had the worst acne! That's also a huge mystery as I've been blessed with really great skin, even in puberty. It was frightening to see myself covered in pimples! A gross bit of info (sorry!), i've also noticed a very pale colored discharge so I wear a panty liner regularly (no symptoms that would imply infection or anything). More random things: the worst migraine EVER about two weeks ago. An occasional light cramping on one side or another. And then there's the bloat! I don't even really bloat when I'm PMSing. But I've felt like a hot air balloon for weeks. UGH. It's all just crazy.

i just wish my period would show up, so i could at least start trying again. I have no idea where it is and there's no sign of it showing up. I'm due for my next one on 8/1. I hope it comes because this not-knowing-what's-going-on thing is driving me looney. I know that it's possible - however rare- to be pregnant and still get negative blood and urine tests. but really, what's the likelihood that i'm one of those people? Slim. And so I wait... I have an appointment with my doctor this Friday and she put in a referral for me to see an OB/GYN for fertility. Something to shoot for i suppose.

thank you for listening to me. i feel like i'm losing my marbles.
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July 26th, 2011, 02:28 PM
*Candi*'s Avatar Candi
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 8,645
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I wish I had some info for you I really hope you are one of those people who got BFN when they are pg.

Thank you GraysMama for an awesome siggy!

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