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Baby shower for SIL

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April 17th, 2012, 12:04 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
I have a dilemma. My SIL1 is having her second child, a boy, in July. Her first child is a girl who is 2 YO. My SIL2 and I threw her a big baby shower for her first child. We have offered to throw her a Sprinkles shower, a smaller shower with just our side of the family and our close friends. One of the reasons for this decision is budget. SIL2 is having financial difficulties right now and budget is tight for her however she really wants to contribute. Another reason is that SIL1 invited friends to her first baby shower who did not co-mingle with our side of the family's friends. This created an awkward atmosphere and some of the family's friends felt left out and a little annoyed. SIL2 and I offered to throw this shower and explained the reasons for the smaller shower, however, Husband just informed me that SIL1 and BIL1 have asked that her friends be included on the guest list (again) and if money is an issue, they will give us money for them. This, however, doesn't fix the awkward tension that could occur again. In addition, SIL1 and BIL1 want alcohol. And they want a bigger menu, not just light fare. I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but I'm now feeling like they are taking over and feeling like I no longer want to throw them this shower. I was going to send out invitations but this shower is growing into something bigger than I'd planned. What to do???
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April 17th, 2012, 01:14 PM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In the West
Posts: 11,190
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Honestly, Id let SIL1 and BIL1 take over and do it themselves. Id step away as planner and hostess.

IMHO, its about what will be fun and peaceful and memory making. If I have ideas that work for everyone and then the intended recipient starts making demands...to me thats tacky and disrespectful. Thats when I know that no matter what they are never gonna be happy and so they might as well foot the bill and deal with the stress of setting it all up,etc.

~My thanks to *Kiliki* for the siggy and Lucy S for the blinkies~
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April 17th, 2012, 02:55 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
Thank you Lady Lotus. I am leaning towards stepping down and letting them throw the shower they want for themselves. It'd be less of a headache and I can maybe enjoy myself. Thank you again! Makes me feel better!
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April 20th, 2012, 12:12 AM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Eagle, Idaho
Posts: 60,398
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I'd tell her how you feel. I've only had one shower, with my first, so I'd be feeling so fortunate to even have somebody offer.

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baby shower, second child, who to invite

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