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Parenting style

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June 26th, 2009, 08:46 AM
lizzy27's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 27,575
Do you follow a certain parenting style or philosophy?

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June 26th, 2009, 09:59 AM
Proud Happy Single Mom
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 5,853
Kinda I guess. Pretty traditional mostly. I don't believe in co-sleeping. I don't like baby wearing but thats probably because I"m bigger and have a large chest so that makes it uncomfortable for me. I believe in discipline and age appropriate CIO. Parent lead child raising not child lead. I'm pretty strict I guess. Not with Emily because ya know she's only 9 months but with older kids yes. I demand respect and lots of hugs and kisses lol
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June 26th, 2009, 11:41 AM
Posts: n/a
Hmm.. well, I don't follow attachment parenting, I guess. We don't co-sleep, don't baby-wear (just a little bit when they were born), I don't hold my children all day long, I encourage independent play (of course playing with them, too). We believe in CIO and used it successfully. I don't BF, either. I believe that a happy mommy = happy baby. We're pretty strict, we believe in strict but fair and like PP said, "parent led, not child led." We don't do extended rear-facing, etc. I donno. I am not sure what "style" that is, it's just what works for us. My kids are happy, fed, clean, they're on track with their milestones, and generally behave like kids their age are supposed to. That's all that matters to me.
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June 26th, 2009, 04:23 PM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ATL
Posts: 1,902
I have a lot of traditional since our family kinda started out backwards with older kiddos first and I was raised in an household where the boundaries were crystal clear and it was a strict but fair household. My mom tells me I am a bit more lenient than she was, but she also understands that our kiddos come from backgrounds and are not wired the same way my bro and I were at those ages. We cannot spank them, it was part of the agreement to being a foster parent, so DH and I got super creative in punishments.

We give the older kiddos choices, but we are the parents, we do the driving and the decision making, not the other way around.

With the babies, I do baby wear! I love it! I am lucky for the most part that when I put all 3 down (in 2 cribs) There is a small bit of unhappy, but they seem to comfort one another and quiet down right away. As far as extended rear facing, sorry kiddos, until your 2, and one is a screamer!!! It is a safety thing with DH and I, and both Leigh and Brandon by body weight are still in kiddo seats, until that changes. They are still in a seat, and no one will ride shotgun in the front, not even the teen, because of her height. Eh, she will live with the MOMMM don't embarass me. (excuse me for wearing combat boots to work).

I got crucified by another mommy in the local pizza place in town for not BF'ing, and my hubby was very kind and said "sorry we left you off the adoption memo we passed out". (((EYEROLL))). Her response is "don't you know that formula is poison?" My reply was "well unless you have the number to 1-800-rent-boob, guess they will be served formula!!!
And now there are 6....
Traci 14
Leigh 9
Brandon 6
Suzanne (1-18-2009)
Kyle & Luke (1-22-2009)

"Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2008

Another day, another 72% for the same work, different pay......
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June 26th, 2009, 07:56 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Denver metro area
Posts: 2,988
I am a bit of a granola
I would say I lean towards attachment parenting but don't follow it strictly. We do co-sleep. Our 22 month old Luke does sleep through the night but I'd say about twice a week he wakes up in the night and DH goes and gets him and brings him to bed with us. Our 5 month old starts out in a bassinet next to our bed but when he wakes up for his first feeding he is in our bed until the morning. I do BF and I am a huge fan and supporter of it. I don't believe in CIO and don't do anything to get our babies to sleep through the night.
We don't do many vaccinations, we make our own baby food and we don't believe in circumcision.
We believe in natural consequences and are big fans of the montessori way of learning.
I do feel very passionately about some of this stuff but I also believe that there is no one way that works for all families. As parents we all have to determine what works best for us, our kids and I am confident that is why most make the decisions they do.

eta: oh, and I do baby wear - Have 5 different types of slings/carriers that I use for different ages or purposes.
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June 26th, 2009, 08:02 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: League City, Texas
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I am a little of both but I wouldda thought I was more traditional when I first had AJ.

I co-sleep if DH isn't around - he isn't comfortable with it so I don't do it. Baby sleeps in a bassinet by my bed until he/she outgrows it or hits approx 3 months old. I breastfed AJ until he weaned himself at 11.5 months - my goal was one year, but I was happy - especially since he gave it up. I supplemented with formula for church starting at 2 months and once a day after 6 months.

AJ had his own room/bed and slept alone from 3 months on with a small hiccup in there where he and I spent the night on the couch for awhile. I did wear him until he got too big for my current carrier (going to get a new one for the next baby). He was rear facing till one year and over 22 lbs.

We did CIO after a certain age and he gets punishments for when he does bad things. I encourage independent play too. We do everything we can not to spank/slap. Definitely parent led raising.

PM to see if I am available to make a siggy - decisions will be made on a case by case basis.


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June 28th, 2009, 08:32 PM
lizzy27's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 27,575
My parenting style is Lizzy style, LOL! I am probably more attachment than I was when I first had Nathaniel... although a lot of AP moms wouldn't classify me as AP I don't think, LOL. I try to be a gentle but firm mother, in everything. My motto is "do everything lovingly"... but my definition of "lovingly" doesn't mean give the kids everything they want and make them happy 24/7. I do BF, I did a very slow weaning process with Nathaniel starting at 12 months until he was finally weaned at 20 months. I never refused him the breast, just didn't initiate it as much until finally he was done. I plan on letting Mary set more of the weaning schedule herself, the reason I wanted to wean Nathaniel was so I wasn't BFing 2 kids at once. Just didn't think I could handle it. We haven't done CIO, I just don't think it's right for our family. We used a cosleeper with Nathaniel until he was 5.5 months, and then he was in the crib for the first part of the night. When he woke up he came into our bed. He did this until his 2nd birthday. Mary is cosleeping with us 100% right now, and has been since she outgrew the cosleeper, but that's mostly because we don't have an open bedroom to move her to, and Nathaniel is still in the crib.

My main philosophy is to figure out what's best for the family, and do that. It's not always easy to figure out what's best, and it's hard to be honest about what's best. I feel like it could easily morph into what's easiest but what's best and what's easiest is not always the same thing.

One of my philosophies is really about laying groundwork for later. I don't believe in reactive parenting, but proactive parenting. This is a really big difference I've seen between me and other moms that I know. I don't do well with fly by the seat of your pants type situations, I'd rather think and plan and pray ahead. More often than not if I do the hard work in the beginning then it's so much easier on our family down the road.

One big thing I've learned since having Nathaniel is I thought I needed to be totally selfless for my children which meant putting myself last. But my philosophy on that has changed. I need to do things for myself. I think I balked at this before, thinking people meant pedicures and such when they said that. But now I realize it means enough sleep, good time with DH, basic care such as a shower every day, etc. I can not be a good mom without those things.

I'm a big fan of the book "Parenting with Grace" by the Popcaks. My parenting style is probably the closest to their advice, although I'm probably a bit more relaxed than what they recommend.

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