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Parent Conflict - School

Forum: Catholic Parenting


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  • 1 Post By AMDG
  • 1 Post By LJD3Tdance
  • 1 Post By w292737
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May 24th, 2012, 03:57 PM
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Do you ever stumble upon other parents whom you know are Catholic, but they would blurt something that is against what our Church teaches... and you realize they either don't care, don't know, or are misinformed - do you say anything or just leave it alone?

My oldest daughter is in a Catholic school and I often chat to other parents whose kids are in her school while we wait for the school bus together. Well, a couple moms are pregnant... and one day as one was telling me about her TTC journey, she mentioned how they only got pregnant about 2 years after going off of BC. She said it very casually and matter-of-factly. But it made me sort of uncomfortable, kwim. Because we were having a nice chat & suddenly she blurts something that isn't what we should be doing, but I couldn't possibly bring myself to tell her otherwise on a personal matter like that, so I left it alone. But it definitely creates that awkward feeling for me.
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May 24th, 2012, 07:49 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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I would have done the same thing - not said anything. It doesn't sound like she was asking for opinions or seeking any kind of info on the matter. I, unfortunately, assume that Catholics are not following the Church's teaching on many things because it seems so few do. I get more flustered when it is someone I know better and then wonder if I have more of an obligation to say something because I know them. Recently, the wife of a friend of my husband's confided in me (I dont' know her that well but we have talked and many social gatherings etc) that she hasn't slept with her husband in over 6 months because she is so scared of getting pregnant and he refuses to use a condom! That sure took me by surprise. She is 39 and said she is just too worried about having a baby with special needs because of her age. I didn't know what to say - a number of things bothered me and she was asking for advice/my opinion. All I could manage to say was that I thought she and her husband should meet with a priest and that I could put her in contact with a good one if she didn't know any that she trusted. I felt so bad after - like I should have said more to encourage her to trust or not have so much fear of the unknown. Not to mention that it obviously isn't good for a marriage for one person to withhold sex from the other for so long.
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"Authentic love is not a vague sentiment or a blind passion. It is an inner attitude that involves the whole human person. It is looking to the other, not to use but to serve. It is rejoicing when the other rejoices and suffers when the other suffers. Love is the gift of self." JPII
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May 24th, 2012, 08:18 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This particular issue seems to come up in my life all the time. People who I know who are Catholic who either honestly don't know we teach things like no tubals after you are done...or who don't care. It baffles me, but I don't know what to say, or know it isn't my place in some cases, depends on how I know them and what the convo is.

My normal way to get that kind of comment in is when I get asked if I'm getting my tubes tied or something of that nature and saying "No, we're following the church's teachings, and I trust NFP."
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Last edited by LJD3Tdance; May 24th, 2012 at 08:18 PM. Reason: Cuz my English sucks...
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May 25th, 2012, 02:56 PM
Happy Mommy
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Obviously i wouldn't say anything at all, and if anyone had said anything to me and my situation I'd probably go home and pray for their soul

I'm sure there's no ill intention, but honestly, for me, it's between them and God.
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May 25th, 2012, 03:36 PM
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I agree it's between them and God At the same time, you can only smile & nod for so long before it becomes uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like the person expects me to agree with them, to be supportive or something... well, I can be and mostly am, but I draw a limit too when it comes to something I just do not do. I hope that makes sense.
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May 25th, 2012, 08:14 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's awkward for sure! I think there's a time to say something when you're really close to the person and know them well, but when it comes up casually like that - I probably wouldn't say anything either.
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May 26th, 2012, 01:28 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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Knowing me, I'd probably create that awkward silence before changing the subject completely!!
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May 26th, 2012, 01:39 AM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know what you mean about the smile and nod thing for so long. I had a friend knowing I'm very pro-life who had an abortion. And I did not support that choice obviously, but I did support her afterwords as she totally mentally broke down from it. But when she started trying to get pregnant again right away, in a bad situation that had not changed from her abortion time and then did and then started the talk again I was like "Dude how much can you expect me to take before I fire back?"

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