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My life has changed....

Forum: LDS Parenting


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April 12th, 2012, 01:32 PM
Mommy of Four!
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 140
I have had a crazy couple of months and am still in the middle of some life changing. I am having a hard time dealing with things right now....

The hardest thing to cope with is the fact that my fiance and I broke up. It's been about two weeks since we ended our relationship. We were together for two years. As much as I prayed and hoped that he was the man I needed for my partner and my children's other parent, he wasn't the one. He couldn't put down perscription pill usage and alcoholism, and even though I waited and tried for so long to help him become the man I knew he was capable of being, I finally accepted that he was never going to change. I miss him very much, at least the parts of him that were loving and kind and thoughtful....the fact that he had some good moments make me regret my decision...but I try and remind myself of the neglect and the mean comments that came along with his usage so that I can continue to stay strong. I pray alot for strength to make it though this difficult time...I must admit I feel very alone right now. I stopped going to church because of my depression during the ending of my relationship (which started months ago). It's been about three months since I have gone to church....I have never lost my love for the church, but lost my desire for alot of things while I was trying to work things out with my ex fiance. I want to go back to church, but am afraid because I don't know what to tell other members. They have always known us as a family...me, my ex, my four children and his two children...I don't know what to say to them. I also don't know how to explain the fact that I basically stopped communicating with everybody in church and even avoided all their phone calls. I was dealing with so much that I shut out everybody and I feel awful about it. My new job hasn't been wonderful either. I started in November and have pretty much hated it the entire time. I make very good money though so I have just dealt with it. But, feeling so sad about my relationship isn't making the coping of a bad job easier. I have thought about leaving this job many many times, but I doubt I will find a place that pays me this well and because I have so many children to support alone, I don't have many options.

This is basically a sum up of why I haven't been on here these past few months.....any comments or support would be welcomed greatly.

Thank You Alethia for the Siggy!
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April 12th, 2012, 02:19 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
I'm so sorry You've really been through a lot over the last while. You are such a strong woman. I know you'll get through this trial, too. It sounds like you have made the best decision for you and your children.

When it comes to going back to church, just do it. Really. I know for many people it's so hard to just open that door and step through because it is easier to stay away and who knows what people will say. You are not alone. If people say anything just be honest, but brief. Tell them the relationship didn't work out. Chances are no one will say a word about you not going to church for a while other than something about it being good to see you again. If someone says something negative about you having been inactive, just ignore them. There's always a rude person in the bunch and they should be ignored just like trolls on message boards. We all go through times where we do/want to shut everyone out. That's okay! The key is to get back on track as soon as you can.


~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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April 12th, 2012, 08:59 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I am so sorry to hear about your fiancé. I think that you did the best thing for yourself and for your family.

I agree with Elsa with regards to going to church. It is extremely hard to go after a while because of what people might think. In all honesty, it is hard for me to go to church because some of the things that have happened with Marsi's surgery. But, I just remind myself that I go to church because of the gospel and not because of the people. I pray for your strength and for your emotions. This would be extremely rough.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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April 13th, 2012, 02:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,710
I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. I really think that you made the right call breaking up with your fiance. Addictions can't be part of the equation when you want to build a family. I agree that you have a lot more to gain by going back to church than to lose. Some people may say thoughtless things, but I really think you will find more support than you expect among the members. They won't be mad at you for taking a break from church. They will more likely just be really happy that you're back.
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