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Advice for an inactive mommy

Forum: LDS Parenting


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April 9th, 2013, 01:47 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 25

I was brought up a member of the church and stopped going when I was 17. The main reason for me stopping going was because I didn't want to live by the gospel and wanted to be a "normal" teenager and do all the things my friends did. The church has always been in my mind and has had a strong place in my heart, but I have never found the strength to go back.
I am now 25 and have one son who is 2 years old. My partner is a lovely guy and a brilliant father to our son. I haven't spoken to him much about the church. He knows that I was baptised and that I stopped going as a teenager but he doesn't know how I feel about the church now. He isn't at all religious and has expressed the opinion that he doesn't want our son to be religious in any way.

I really would love to go back to church but I have several fears about doing so. The first would be that it would drive a wedge between me and my partner, as I would want my son to come to church.
Secondly I worry that the members of my old ward will be judgemental about my past. (They are a very judgemental group of people, they always have been).
I also worry about what stance the church would take about me and my partner. We are not currently married and to be honest I don't want to marry him right away. We do, however, live together and I know this is something that is frowned upon.
Lastly I know that my partner would never come to church. So when we did marry we wouldn't be able to be sealed etc. This makes me sad, not just for me but my son as he will never be able to experience that with us.

I know it's a long post, sorry! This has been bottling up inside me now for about a year. Thanks to anyone who replies
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April 10th, 2013, 12:50 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
I suggest just going. Don't worry about the future. It tends to take are of itself no matter your fears. People might talk, but you know what? Ignore them. Not their business, not their place to judge.

As for your partner, that is where you truly never know what the future might bring. When we moved into the ward we lived in right after we got married, there was the loveliest man in the bishopric. Father of 5 boys, just a great man. Later I learned his story. His wife attended church with those 5 boys all alone for years. He was a nice man, but not interested in the church. He drank and smoked. She hoped he'd one day join the church so they could all be sealed, but figured it likely wouldn't happen. The boys started growing up and went on missions and married in the temple... and then something happened. No one knows quite how, but the man decided to learn more about the church and ultimately got baptized. No one thought that would ever happen, least of all his wife. So, really, you just never know.

~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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