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Dealing With Family

Forum: Children's Health


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February 9th, 2006, 09:18 AM
BabyJsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Jackson County, Kentucky
Posts: 2,658
I'm sure this has been asked many times... but I was wondering, how do you deal with family once you make the decision to keep your baby intact? My sister had both of her boys circumcised, and uses the excuse that they won't even remember (but I tell her that I will remember the pain he had to go through) and that it will hurt worse when he's older and he'll hate me for not having him cut, and he'll be dirty. And then says that it will look gross cuz of the extra skin and that no girl will want to have sex with him. It hurts me so bad and when I told DH it made him mad because he is intact. And I don't think intact is disgusting. I just wish there were ways to explain to these people... This is what we want and it shouldn't be made into such a big deal. Can I have some help please?
Proud Christian, wife to Jason, mommy to Jason and Jayden, stepmom to Brooklynn, and dog mom to Cooper

Forever Missing our Angel Baby- Due December 28th, 2005, left us on May 30, 2005 after 8 weeks of joy.
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February 9th, 2006, 10:11 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Since she is getting crude I'd probably say something like I want to have sex with my husband and leave it at that. Let her work it out on her own that your husband is intact and she is being rude. It really is no one's business but your's and your husband what you do with your son's penis. If she brings it up again you could say look I don't try to tell you what to do stop trying to tell me.

~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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February 9th, 2006, 01:43 PM
Sunflower_Mommy2003's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,779
I think I would just be honest with her and says something like, "Listen, I've researched this. I'm not going to circumcise my son based on myths or to follow the crowd. And I want you to know that your prejudice and negativity is especially hurtful because the love of my life/my partner/the father of my child isn't circumcised, and he isn't gross or dirty."

And then, if she seems open to learning more, give her some links/articles or a book to read on the topic. (Like, What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Circumcision)

Take heart in the fact that the reasons she's against leaving babies whole and is saying such insulting things is because she isn't informed and believes the myths. Try not to let the ignorance get to you.

<div align="center">

Click--->Questioning Circumcision?<---Click

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March 14th, 2006, 05:09 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,547
Geez I'de be mad. Does she know your dh is intact? I'de be saying any girl who thinks my ds is discusting is shallow and not worth his time! oops that would be her! Or how about we go trim up our daughters genitals with longer skin, (turn her own words back on here with a couple of changes) "after all it will look gross cuz of the extra skin and that no (man) will want to have sex with (her)" After that I would refuse to even discuss it unless she shows some genuine interest in actualy learning something instead of tossing out insults.

"Cats are keen, cats are great, cats are clean they lick your plate."
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March 17th, 2006, 08:35 PM
ryansmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,082
How frustrating! My opinion is that you just need to let your sister know that you HAVE researched this issue, that you have a real life example in your dh of the fact that boys grow up perfect with their WHOLE bodies, and you hope she will educate herself - then let her know that you won't stand for any negativity about your son. You ARE doing the right thing for your baby, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with this ignorance in your own family.

<span style="color:#CC0000">Marian Wright Edelman
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March 22nd, 2006, 12:58 AM
feohgoddess's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Salinas, California
Posts: 995
aw hon im sorry you're dealing with this. my uncle's wife made such a rude comment not too long ago so i know how you feel. i cant even believe that people ask these questions and then get upset if your opinion differs from theirs.

ok i have 2 uncles. the oldest is circ (my grandma said they did it w.o her permission.) the youngest is intact. my dh is also intact.

she asked if we were gonna circ. i said nope. she had the nerve to say "uh ew. uncirc. penis` are f*cking discussting." my youngest uncle's wife was there, along with my aunt, whos dh is also intact. so out of all the women there, only my oldest uncles wife had the circ. dh.

i told her "no... actually people who stress on what other people's childrens penis` look like are f*cking discussting!" we all told her how rude and stupid her comment was, and that all of our dhs are intact and that its not discussting.

i did get a little over heated. but it was sooo rude of her to say that and we were so p.oed. i mean, not only is this my dh she's talking about, but my baby boy who isnt even born yet.

I don't think there is anything wrong with an intact penis. so you mean to say that there are women who will not have sex/relationship with a man if his penis is intact because its "gross"???? i bet those same women are the ones who "hate how men judge women on how big their boobs are"

who even cares what your partners penis looks like. and besides, if some little tramp didnt want to have relations with my son b.c of how his penis looked, then she can go #$#$ off. hehe

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