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I feel like I don't fit in anywhere!

Forum: Traditional Parenting


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March 22nd, 2009, 01:38 PM
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 438
I am becoming frustrated. It seems as though most parenting forums pigeonhole parents into "traditional" or "attached." There doesn't seem to be anything in between and each are defined by such a strict set of terms that occasionally it appears that there are people like me who don't fit in anywhere!

We co-sleep (not bed sharing, but room sharing) until our children are more independent, usually around 9 months, we allow absolute MINIMAL CIO (and that is only when it has been going on for days of no sleeping like last week), breastfeed (child led weaning preferred though with Evy we didn't have a lot of choice in the matter!), baby wear, and I would prefer cloth diapering over disposable diapering. But I would never be accepted in the AP forums because I disagree almost 100% with the AP philosophy on discipline. I've tried everything with my children and step-children and maybe mine are monsters, but there IS NO REASONING with these children. So we do what works, and if what works for an individual child is a spanking, that's what works. We're also a biblically obedient Christian family.

I'm sorry to vent ladies, but I am frustrated feeling as though I don't fit in anywhere. There have to be others like me, but coming into a forum that says that parents here CIO, crib sleep, use disposable diapers, etc, I feel a bit... unwelcome.

By all means, parent *your way*. We all have unique families and what works for one might not work for another. OTOH, I don't think I'm any less "traditional" for following my own instincts.

Weird post by way of introduction I guess lol

Thanks to MommaTrish for the Siggy!

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March 22nd, 2009, 04:12 PM
Posts: n/a
Hi Evelyn,

I'm a bit in the middle, although the only thing I truly believe in on the TP side of things is CIO and crib sleeping. I'm going to cloth diaper with my new bundle of joy, and I'll breastfeed with this one if she will do it, but I'm not going to force the issue if it doesn't work. I FF my son and he turned out just fine.

You'll find that we are very receptive to anyone's parenting ideas and we as a group don't judge you on what you believe.

You are more than welcome to stay on our board and we'd love to have you.
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March 22nd, 2009, 05:19 PM
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 438
Thanks, Kelly. It's Becki, by the way. Evelyn is my DD.

I remember once there always seemed to only be a place for the AP parents, and nowhere for the Traditional parents. It was so easy to feel out of place, especially when I agree with most AP principles (and see them as just as traditional as "traditional" principles anyway) but I don't think that spanking is abusive or creates violent children. I find it just *so* frustrating!

Thanks to MommaTrish for the Siggy!

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March 22nd, 2009, 05:50 PM
Posts: n/a
Oh, I'm sorry. I totally read your siggy wrong.

It will be nice to have you.
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March 22nd, 2009, 08:37 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lansdowne, Pa
Posts: 704
I don't consider myself a true traditionalist, either, but I'm in this forum because my parenting leans more toward traditional-I believe in age-appropriate limited CIO, crib-sleeping and I formula fed and my child wears disposables diapers. On the Attachment Parenting side, I babywear and practice gentle discipline methods of distraction and redirection. But really, I'm just Mommy and if it's good enough for my daughter, myself, my husband, my pedi and God, then it's good enough period.
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March 24th, 2009, 10:36 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 21,661
Hi Becki, we're happy to have you here, feel free to join us anytime. I think you'll find that over here, we don't really care how you parent your child because we know that a mother know what is best for her own child. We are here to offer support and friendship, and will try and help out with advice if you ask for it. But we don't judge, and we only ask the same of you.

Evelyn is adorable, btw! How many children do you have?

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March 24th, 2009, 03:17 PM
Jami&Marshall's Avatar Jami&Marshall
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 10,748
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Hi Becki - We're glad to have you join us. We're a pretty easy going group and we welcome anyone that would like to join us.
Marshall 10/27/05 Marshall's Blog

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