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Birds and the Bees Talk

Forum: Traditional Parenting


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December 2nd, 2011, 12:10 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 787
My son is 9, and I've been waiting until he has had questions. However, he never asks them! When I was pregnant, I thought for sure he's start asking. Nope. HELP!!! What does he need to know right now, and what can I skip? I'm dreading it, but it must be done.
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December 2nd, 2011, 04:46 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
I would imagine that *for now* (at his age) it is okay to not go into it until he starts showing signs of entering puberty...

I think the most important thing for them to learn first is the changes that their bodies are going to go through - and you may find that that leads to him asking other questions about WHY is his body changing etc etc...

I'm sure there would be a good book you could get to read with him?

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December 2nd, 2011, 09:15 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 787
I bought a book, but it covers *everything*. It even has illustrations of naked people, which he found right away. He later overheard me telling DH that it had good reviews, and he piped up, "It's probably because it has naked people!"

I guess I'm wondering which parts to use now, and which to reserve for later.
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December 7th, 2011, 04:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 1,987
Oooh, good question. It's been a few days, so maybe you have already figured it out? Maybe sit down with him and DH and go through the "body changes" part of the book, then he may ask questions about the rest? At least then you will be there to answer the questions and show him the relevant parts of the book, instead of him going through them on his own the first time.

I'll be honest... I learned about sex by reading a children's encyclopedia when I was 9... It was a page on reproduction, which included a lower-parts diagram of intercourse. I was both fascinated and embarrassed... so I showed all my friends, but I never asked my parents. They started talking about body changes the next year in school (5th grade), so I didn't really ever feel the need to ask.
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December 8th, 2011, 09:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
Just lurking and saw this . I felt the need to post you would be suprised what some kids know by this age know as my son who is only 7 now he told me after I asked him if he knew what the word sex meant and I assumed he would have either said no then go watch tv or say his sex is male . Instead he went into detailed descriptions along with hand/finger gestures imitating actual sex gesture as in his turned his one hand into a penis then another hand into a hole . I was like who told you that because I sure didn't ! He said a kid in the playground did and I was like who was it ? He said he didn't know and I still don't know when he was told that ! I can assume it was sometime last year but definetly around when he was 6 yrs old and then you would wonder why would a 6 yr old be interested in that topic ?

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December 8th, 2011, 06:10 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 787
I'm a slacker--we still haven't discussed anything! If he really doesn't know, I know it's coming! He's at the age where it is being discussed at school.
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April 1st, 2012, 11:27 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,029
Honestly..at the age of 9 it might be more comfortable to do it and less "embarassing" for him/her than at an older age..As soon as my oldest so was old enough to ask how the baby got in my belly or why his sister's parts look different that his.. I figured he was old enough to be told..I just started by telling him that boys and girls have different parts and that they fit together to make a baby..They know that daddy has little things thats look like tadpoles and mommy has eggs..I actually found a website with drawn images of what it all looks like and it was very age appropriate..My boys were not embarassed by the convo and think its cool that they know something that other kids in their class don't(I told them that this convo stays at home because other kids parents might not want them to know)..I did use the its something you don't do until your married line just because I dont' want them going off and doing anything that'll embarass them..but they seemed to take it well..if youre concerned about it I'd google it..there is a lot of great info online about talking to you kids at any age about sex..

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April 24th, 2012, 03:31 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 90
My parents bought me a couple books around 10-ish. Then they told me they wanted me to look through a couple chapters (they specified which) and let me know if I had questions they were there. They didn't force a talk until I was going through puberty.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Hellen Keller
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August 17th, 2014, 08:42 AM
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: On the farm
Posts: 39
He's only 9... I'd wait until he's around 13-16 range preferably.
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September 3rd, 2014, 11:48 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 31
I would wait until my child is around 9 or 10 years old. That was the time when my parents gave me the "talk" as well. I remember being given a few books about this too. It was definitely awkward.
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