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Forum: 2008 Playroom


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February 10th, 2012, 06:48 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 8,427
I have posted a ton of TTC posts lately on trying to make the decision to proceed with baby #3 or not. I have been back and forth, DH has been back and forth and we finally came to the decision last week to just go for it.

I had my IUD taken out last Friday. We have dtd twice since then without protection, but timing was not good for TTC. Fairly certain at this point we are not pregnant.

Since having the IUD out I have found myself searching our budget daily for a way to keep our future goals in tact, but still find the extra $100 a week needed for daycare.

Also, since having the IUD out DH has been quite and worried. He opened up to me and stated he basically feels like a failure because he changed career paths 5 years ago and is still making about 1/2 what he did when he made the change. The added pressure of TTC has added an unbelievable amount of stress on him. It's making him lose his confidence in himself and it is adding to his unhappiness with his job because he feels he can't provide for our family in the way I need/want him to.

I feel like a total basketcase, but think once again, I am going to put the TTC on hold. I want another baby, but I think all signs still point to us not being 100% ready.

I just do't know how I can be soooo certain one minute we can make it work, but then doubt it the very next day.

I am starting to think I am having a major midlife crisis over this and the more I think about it, the more I worry, and the more I worry, the more time I am spending dwelling on overthinking about it.

Having a baby should be a time of joy and I feel like since making the decision it's only added stress into our marriage and family. The timing just isn't right.

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February 10th, 2012, 08:18 AM
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I'm so sorry that this is adding so much stress. Hugs.
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February 10th, 2012, 08:27 AM
*Cyndee*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 29,839
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Holly I feel you on this 100%. As you remember I went through this on having a second baby for almost 2 years and ended up trying for a year, getting pregnant and losing the baby just before 12 weeks. After that, it hit me that the stress, effort, heartbreak, was just too much and it wasn't meant to be so I really focused in on buying a home and moving on to other family goals that was important to us. Since then I know we are just meant to be a one child family and after turning 35, I've become ok with this (hence, wanting a dog now I think, but I've even decided to wait a year on that and let Maddie mature a bit more get a fence and become more financially secure before adding to our family). It's dumb to compare and I'm not trying to at all - a dog and a child LOL, but I really truly understand what you are going through and offer you support and love. Give it some time and try to relax on it. When the time is right, you will know. It's good you guys are talking and so open with one another. You truly are an amazing woman and mother. *Hugs*

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February 10th, 2012, 09:47 AM
IneedCoffee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 10,195
I understand as well. I hope the stress eases up and you guys are able to either focus on your goals or focus on TTC whole heartily. It is not an easy decision, and I hope you find peace with this soon (your DH as well)
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February 11th, 2012, 05:18 AM
LisaMarie!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, TX
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I can understand how stressful this is for the both of you guys. It is hard to figure out what to focus on. I think putting on hold for a little bit is a good idea since you are still changing your mind. I kind of want a girl but it on hold (not even being talked about) since I really want our house built and we can't afford to have a 3rd in daycare.

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February 11th, 2012, 09:18 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
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I agree, if there is that much stress, wait a bit. It doesn't have to be until October or whenever your first far off date was. Little steps, say 2 months from now. Spend next month just charting and learning your cycles.

There is nothing worse than regret.
mama to 5 yr old DS1 , 3 year old DS2 , and nursling DD .
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